Soundtrack
by Meags09
Summary: A series of one-shots revolving around Luke and Lorelai. Some smut. All are themed around a song featured in an episode. Latest chapter - "Thanks For Christmas" takes place in 110 Forgiveness And Stuff.
1. There She Goes

_A/N: There are a lot of songfics out there, and I have to say I usually don't like them so I'm sorry if this isn't your cup of tea. This is something I've been mulling over for a few weeks. There's a lot of interesting songs in the show and they usually seem to be chosen pretty deliberately to go along with the story. I have some ideas for more LL fics I want to write based on those songs, but I'm open to suggestions!_

 _All of these chapters will be oneshots, based around a song, taking place in the timeline of the show wherever it was featured. Most will probably be AU because I love getting these crazy kids together._

* * *

 _There she goes_

 _There she goes again_

* * *

Luke was pretending not to watch Lorelai turn that guy down, but he was riveted. He'd assumed that she was asked out often - _just look at her!_ \- but he'd never had a front row seat to watch her turn one down. It was even worse when the same guy tried to put the moves on Rory. _Putz_ , he thought, rolling his eyes. Anyone with some sense could tell she was just a kid. Both Gilmores dispatched him quickly and mercilessly, and afterwards he tossed some bills on the counter and left, tail between his legs.

He clearly hadn't made an impression though, because both of them continued on to their discussion like nothing had even happened. Once again, he was watching them out of the corner of his eye, trying to dissuade himself from looking at her at all. He was drawn to her, and it took all his self control to look away.

* * *

 _Racing through my brain_

 _And I just can't contain_

 _This feelin' that remains_

* * *

He felt the air rush out of the diner when she stepped outside. He berated himself the entire time he watched her walk away, but he couldn't stop. When had this happened? He had coped just fine with Rachel using his heart like a revolving door. He'd even gotten used to it. But with Lorelai, it was a fresh pulse of life any time she walked into his diner and a noticeable loss any time she left. He hated the effect that she had on him, but he didn't know what to do about it.

All afternoon, he couldn't get that earlier scene out of his mind. He played it over and over, dissecting it like a football play. That guy had more balls than he did. He'd just walked up to her and started coming on to her, like it was no big deal. But then, there was no risk for him. If he had asked Lorelai on a date the first time he saw her, there would have been no pressure. Now, he knew her too well. He just wanted to be in her orbit. And she never made any moves to make him think that she was interested. So asking her would risk everything, and Luke Danes did not make all-or-nothing bets. The idea of changing their friendship so drastically was terrifying. It was easier to stick with the status quo.

Later that night, he startled awake, panting and sweating. He'd had another dream about Lorelai. Glancing down, he sighed. Disgusted with himself, he got up and paced the apartment, trying to think of anything but his dream. Running his hands through his hair, he started to question his reticence in making a move. The movement wasn't helping. His body throbbed with desire. It was easier to tamp it down during the day, but at night he was at the mercy of his dreams. Passion-soaked, heady encounters with her in the starring role. Her blue eyes gazing at him, her red lips whispering to him, and her soft curves against his work-worn hands.

* * *

 _There she blows again_

 _Pulsing through my vein_

* * *

On Thursday, he watched from across the diner as Rory and Lorelai had an argument so bad they didn't touch their food. He was concerned, and secretly wished that Miss Patty or Babette had overheard so that he could find out what had happened. As much as he liked to keep to himself and avoid gossip, he had this overwhelming urge to fix whatever was broken when it came to those two.

Ever since that day she had blown into the diner and ordered him around, he had taken an interest in her. At first she was a mere curiosity. She was always talking fast and she didn't stop moving. Hand gestures, head bobbing, feet tapping - she was a ball of energy. When he overheard her talking about some broken pipes at her house, he hadn't even thought it through before he offered to come fix it himself. What was the point of having all of this handyman knowledge if he didn't use it? He was just being a good neighbor.

It wasn't long before he stopped kidding himself. He was captivated by her, and not just her beauty, although she was a knock out. He could see her heart when she interacted with Rory, how giving she was with her time for all the town festivals, and how extremely smart she was in her role as manager of the Inn. He supposed it had been mere months before he had fallen head over heels. It hadn't even occurred to him until Maisy asked him when he was going to ask this Lorelai out on a date already.

"I guess I talk about her a lot, don't I?" he mumbled.

"Every damn time," she replied with her usual frankness.

He decided that night, after he witnessed the fight, that if he saw any sliver of a sign that she was thinking of him that way, he would take the chance and jump.

* * *

 _She calls my name, pulls my train_

 _No one else could heal my pain_

* * *

The way that she looked at him the following night sparked hope in his chest. He hadn't really considered what she might think when he chose this shirt, only that Bill Hodge would take him more seriously without his ubiquitous baseball cap and flannel. He went through the motions, cleaning up the diner, taking the orders of the remaining diners, and refilling cups of coffee, all the while waiting for a moment. That moment when he would finally take a chance. Go all in.

He watched out of the corner of his eye as Rory grabbed her coat and stood up. Lorelai hadn't moved, and the hope soared. They were still talking, excitement clear on their faces. He felt a surge of love for those two women, who had somehow become like family to him. He could picture coming home to them every night, making dinner and watching TV on their couch, spending quiet Sunday mornings together. He shook his head out of his fantasy. _One thing at a time, Danes_ , he thought to himself. _First, you need to take her on a date_.

* * *

 _There she goes_

 _There she goes again_

* * *

The bells chimed, and he looked up again. Rory was gone, her hair swishing behind her as she walked toward Kim's Antiques, no doubt to visit with Lane before curfew was up. Lorelai was getting her things together, and he moved to the register to settle her bill. It was a dance they had perfected. She took her time, enjoying the last few gulps of her coffee, and he took care of the last few diners' checks before she came to pay hers.

"Great food, as always," she said, smiling brightly. She handed him a bill, and he made her change, nodding in response. He leaned forward on the counter, watching her slip the money back into her wallet.

"Lorelai," he began hesitantly. She looked up, her mouth still curved into a smile. "Can I take you to dinner?" he asked, softly. He forced himself to look her in the eye. This was it, the gamble he didn't know if he was brave enough to take.

"Dinner?" she asked, the smile faded, and her eyes widened in surprise. "Like, a - a date?"

"Yes," he said, trying to sound more sure than he felt. "Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow," she repeated. They stared at each other for a few moments, and he felt his heart pounding like it would fly out of his chest. "Yes," she answered finally. He blew out a gust of air he didn't realize he had been holding in.

"Pick you up at 7?" he asked. She smiled again, this one nervous and small, but she nodded, and made her way out the door. Luke couldn't help the huge grin from forming on his face. He had done it! He felt like he was on top of the world.

* * *

 _Chasing down my lane_

* * *

The bells chimed again, and Lorelai stepped back into the diner. She looked like a deer in headlights, and his grin vanished. _She changed her mind_ , he panicked inwardly. But he said nothing, just stared at her from behind the counter.

"So, first dates can be really awkward," she started, wringing her hands in front of her, and taking a few steps closer to him. He reached for the counter to hold himself upright, because he didn't trust himself to stand. "Even if the conversation flows and the food is good, there's always that question in the back of your head about the end of the night."

He waved his hand, trying to reassure her. "Lorelai, I'm not expecting -"

She cut him off. "Not even _that_ ," she continued, "but just the kiss goodnight at the end of the date." She walked around the counter until she was standing directly in front of him. He swallowed hard. "Maybe we should just ... kiss now, so there's no weirdness." She reached her hand out and placed it on his chest.

He licked his lips. "Okay," he croaked, unable to believe what was happening. She tilted her head up toward him, and he automatically bent forward. Their lips brushed with the lightest of touches.

"Again," Lorelai whispered, winding her arm around his neck and pulling him down for a hard kiss. He grasped her waist, pulling her against his body. She tasted like coffee and something sweet. He felt her tongue against his lip and invited her in, wanting to drown in her.

* * *

 _But I just can't contain_

 _This feelin' that remains_

* * *

He walked her to the door, his hand on the small of her back as she slipped out. They looked at each other, smiling shyly.

"Well, good night," Lorelai whispered.

"Good night," Luke whispered back. She started walking toward her house. He flipped the sign to closed, and watched her walk away. The perfect ass that his hands had just been all over swung as her hips moved. This time, watching her walk away wasn't draining him.

It was setting him on fire.


	2. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

Standing outside in the light rain, Lorelai began to curse herself and her stupidity. Of course a simple favor would never just be a simple favor when it came to her mother. There was always a litany of her failings to hear, some new way she wasn't measuring up, another hurdle she needed to jump in order to defend her life. She chose this life, and she was damn happy with it. Entering that Chilton deal with her parents had become more of a sacrifice than she had intended. Living apart from her parents, only seeing them on holidays, had been like a dream come true. It had been freedom from the chains of control and expectations she could never fulfill.

It was that exact sense of freedom that had made encouraging Rory's dreams come so naturally. But that in turn had led her here, to this horrible night. A glance at her watch showed that it was still early. Looking around, she noticed a night club across the street. Making a quick decision, she left her wrap behind on a bench and ripped the hem of her gown, cutting a nice slit in the left side. It was still a little overdressed for dancing, but she needed to have some fun, and by god, she was going to have it.

* * *

 _My mother says when you gonna live your life right_

 _Oh mother dear we're not the fortunate ones_

* * *

Lorelai was a happy drunk when she stumbled out of the club hours later. She knew she should probably find a cab, but Rory was safe at Lane's house for the night and there was no rush to get home. The rain had stopped and the city looked beautiful with the street lamps and moonlight shining in the rain puddles. She began to meander along the street, looking for a place that was still open to get a cup of coffee when she heard someone call her name.

"Lorelai?" the voice called incredulously. She turned, seeing Luke Danes standing in the middle of the sidewalk, looking like an apparition in the moonlit street. She beamed, walking over to him. He took in her unsteady gait and her unkempt hair. "Are you okay?" he asked.

She stumbled slightly, and giggled. "I was just looking for some coffee before I call a cab," she said. He reached out to steady her.

"Have you been drinking?"

"Hey, girls just wanna have fun," she said, her hands pressed against his chest. She began to absently play with the collar of his shirt. He moved her hands down, his jaw tensing at her touch.

"I'll drive you home," he said brusquely, turning around and steering her along with him.

"But what about my coffee?" she pouted, leaning into his side as they walked toward his truck, parallel parked only a few feet away.

"I'll make you some at your house. Now come on." He helped her into the truck, then shut the door and walked to the other side.

"So what were you doing in this neighborhood late at night?" she asked, as he put the truck in drive and eased it back onto the city streets.

"Meeting some buddies for a drink at a restaurant not far from here," he replied, his eyes on the road. "What about you? You look dressed up."

"So you didn't have a date?" she asked, smiling. He glanced at her briefly, and noticed that her smile wasn't genuine.

"No date," he answered gruffly. "You are avoiding the question."

She huffed, and slumped into her seat. "If you must know, it was another humiliation of Lorelai Gilmore at the hands of her mother. This evening's performance had quite the audience."

"You okay?" he asked, glancing over again, taking in her sullen expression. The gleefulness that she had been exuding earlier had all but disappeared.

"No," she said, then sighed. "I guess it's my own stupid fault. I should have expected it, I should have been prepared. I let my guard down and she pounced. But if I call her on it, she'll find a way to turn it all back on me. I'm the ungrateful daughter who resisted a perfectly fine blind date at an exclusive charity event that all the right people would have gladly gone to if given the chance."

"Blind date?" Luke tried to keep his voice neutral, but he felt a pit in his stomach.

"Yeah, Thomas Rutherford the Third or some other stuffy suit. She just doesn't get it, you know?"

"Get what?"

"That I don't want that." Lorelai waved her hands in the air. "All the prim and proper and high society garbage. I ran away from that for a reason."

"So why did you even agree to go to this thing?"

"Quid pro quo, my friend. I roped her into the Booster Club fashion show and this was my penance." Lorelai turned to face the window, and the rest of the ride to Stars Hollow was in silence.

* * *

 _The phone rings in the middle of the night_

 _My father yells what you gonna do with your life_

* * *

When they arrived at the house, Luke kept his promise and started a pot of coffee. Lorelai ran upstairs to change into some sweatpants and a tee shirt. She was on her way back down the stairs when she heard the phone ringing. She paused at the foot of the staircase, listening for the machine to pick up.

"Lorelai, it's your father. I hope you know that your mother and I are very disappointed with you. Running off in the middle of an event like that? Your mother had to make excuses to everyone over why your chair was empty. And Thomas was extremely upset. His mother is an important member of the DAR and now your mother has to explain to all her friends about your abhorrent behavior -"

She clicked off the answering machine and slumped against the wall. Luke poked his head out of the kitchen with a steaming mug. She accepted it glumly.

"Sorry," he said, gesturing toward the phone.

She shrugged. "I kind of expect it now." She sipped her coffee and Luke stood next to her. His brow was furrowed in thought, but Lorelai was preoccupied by the message her father had left.

"Was the guy so bad you couldn't stick out the evening?" Luke blurted, jarring her from her thoughts.

"Yes," Lorelai answered immediately. "He was going on and on about how he thought I would be a beautiful wife and that I'd never have to work again and could just manage our lovely brood of precocious children and maybe run a charity or join the DAR or something."

Luke hesitated before replying. "So that doesn't sound appealing to you?"

"What? Being a kept woman?"

He laughed. "No! Being married."

"Oh, well. You know, I _would_ like to get married someday. To the right person," she said, echoing a previous conversation they had had in her front yard.

"Yeah, the right person."

"Which Max wasn't."

"Right." They stared at each other. "So, I should go," he said, jerking a thumb toward the door.

"Yeah, okay," she said. "Thanks for the ride. And the coffee."

"Yeah." He walked toward the door and paused just as his hand covered the knob. "That guy? If he knew how amazing you really are, he wouldn't have expected so little from you." Lorelai gaped at him, her lips parted slightly, suddenly unable to speak. Luke nodded curtly, then disappeared through the door.

* * *

 _Some boys take a beautiful girl_

 _And hide her away from the rest of the world_

 _I want to be the one to walk in the sun_

* * *

The next day, Lorelai was standing in the kitchen at the Independence Inn, staring into space.

"Honey?" asked Sookie, sidling up beside her. "Are you okay?"

"Confused, actually," she said. She turned and looked at Sookie. "Something happened with Luke last night."

Sookie's eyes widened and she gasped. "Finally! You finally did it!"

"Did ... it?" Lorelai looked at her friend, puzzled. "Did what?"

"Sex! You finally slept together! Oh god, this is so fantastic! I wonder who won the pool!"

"Wait, what? Back up there, cowgirl. What pool?"

Sookie flushed a little in embarrassment. "The town has had a pool going for a couple of years to when you and Luke would finally get together. My date passed a few months ago, but I've always been overly optimistic."

"Oh my god," Lorelai muttered, falling onto a nearby chair.

"So how was it?" Sookie asked excitedly.

"There was no sex, Sookie," Lorelai replied, rolling her eyes.

"So, a kiss then?"

"No, nothing even remotely close to that."

"Oh." Sookie looked deflated. "Then what happened?"

Lorelai explained the events of the evening, concluding with what Luke's parting words had been. "Now, with this whole pool thing that I'm now aware of, I'm just even more confused. Do you think he really has feelings for me?"

Sookie slapped her hand against her forehead. "Are you seriously still asking me this? Are we in junior high? Go ask him yourself. I promise you, the torch he has been carrying has only gotten bigger. It's giving the Hindenburg a run for its money."

* * *

 _When the working day is done_

* * *

At the end of the day, Lorelai walked slowly from the Inn toward the middle of town. She still felt confused, but also excited. Memories of Luke flashed through her mind with each step. Driving her to the hospital to see her dad, carving her a chuppah, helping her find a missing chick - the list went on and on of all the ways that he had stepped in to help her. It occurred to her that he didn't extend the same neighborliness to other Stars Hollow residents. Her steps quickened as she made her way to the diner. She walked in and stopped in front of the counter, where he was doing some paperwork.

"Luke," she breathed. His head snapped up, and he looked at her curiously. "You think I'm amazing?" she asked quietly.

"You know you are," he replied, his voice hoarse and low. They stared at each other a moment, the other people in the diner fading away.

"Do you want to be with me?" she asked, her voice still low.

"Yes," he whispered, his hands gripping the counter in front of him.

"When do you close?"

"Right now," he said, then turning to the diner, he yelled "Kitchen's closed, everything's on the house, get out!"

Lorelai felt a shiver of excitement as he rushed everyone out the door. After he flipped the sign to closed, he turned to face her.

"So," she started, not sure what to do.

"So," he repeated. He took a step closer, and stopped. He looked hesitant.

* * *

 _Oh girls just want to have fun_

* * *

Suddenly, they crashed together, her hands grasping the sides of his head and his arms wrapped around her waist. They kissed passionately, stumbling backwards with the sheer momentum caused by their collision.

"Upstairs," Luke muttered, between kisses.

"Too far," Lorelai said, panting as she ran her hands into his hair, knocking his cap to the floor.

"Can't in the diner. Windows. Health codes."

"Store room?"

They barely paused long enough to make their way into the store room, leaving a trail of clothing on the floor behind them. As they connected, skin against skin and breathing hard, Lorelai smiled slightly to herself. Now this, this was going to be fun.


	3. Reflecting Light

_And the moon's never seen me before_

 _But I'm reflecting light_

* * *

She was radiant. It was the only word that came to mind as they moved around the makeshift dance floor. Her hair fell in soft waves around her shoulders, and the moonlight glinted off of it. When she rested her chin on his shoulder, he was overpowered by the smell of her shampoo.

She was always beautiful, but tonight she was also sweet and soft. It was a side to her that he wasn't used to. She must have known that tonight was different; the air between them had changed into something electric and dangerous, yet oddly comforting. Touches and looks between them lingered longer than normal. And the feeling of her being in his arms, after all this time, felt so right he wanted to memorize everything about it.

Without realizing it, he began to pull her closer as they danced. He didn't notice until they were flush against each other and he had to consciously recite baseball stats in his head to avoid a physical reaction. She had a shy smile on her face, and it emboldened him to pull her even closer. She leaned into him, and he felt a surge of hope mixed with desire.

The past year had been a whirlwind for Luke. He had jumped into a relationship with Nicole because he was feeling desperate, but all it had caused was more pain. The icing on the whole damn cake had been how she hadn't even given him the courtesy of ending it before she moved on. At least this time he wouldn't be expecting her back in his diner with another ridiculous plan to begin dating again. In some twisted way, he felt like he had deserved it. It had been a fruitless attempt to get Lorelai out of his head, but all it had done was remind him of what he was missing.

Leading her around the dance floor in a amateurish recreation of the waltz Miss Patty had attempted to teach him once upon a time, he felt as though all the pieces were coming together. No words were exchanged while they stepped and turned, but he felt more connected to her than to anyone he'd ever known. He would take it slow, see where it would lead. And he would enjoy every minute of it.

* * *

 _I rode the pain down_

 _Got off and looked up_

 _Looked into your eyes_

* * *

The rest of the wedding passed in a haze for Lorelai. As they chatted with a variety of Liz and TJ's renaissance faire friends, Luke kept finding subtle ways to brush against her or whisper in her ear in a way that made her knees weak. At one point, he rested his hand gently on the curve of her lower back, and she had to conceal a gasp. It was a fraction of a moment, but the sensation burned through the thin silk of her dress to her skin.

She was sipping a glass of wine and waiting for Luke to return from getting his own drink when Liz appeared in front of her. Her face was flushed and she looked the part of the beautiful bride.

"Having a good time?" she asked, a slight smile playing at her lips.

Lorelai couldn't help but smile back. She liked Liz and thought her cheerfulness was contagious. "A great time," she agreed enthusiastically. "Where's TJ?"

Liz pointed behind Lorelai, towards the dance floor. "Trying to get my friend Carrie off of his brother," she said with a laugh. Lorelai turned to see TJ pulling his brother away from Carrie, who had a sassy lipstick-smudged grin on her face. With a giggle, Lorelai turned back to Liz. "So you and my brother, huh?"

Lorelai's wide smile faltered. "It's not what you think," she said, trying to explain. "We're just friends."

"I see you're wearing the earrings," Liz said, with a knowing nod. Lorelai's free hand immediately went to her earlobe to finger the delicate jewelry. "You know, when I gave them to him, I told him to give them to the woman he loves." Liz looked her directly in the eyes, the lie coming easily. She couldn't help but play matchmaker. Luke was always taking care of everyone else; she wanted to take care of him for a change. And no one who knew Luke as well as she did would have missed how completely smitten he was with this dark-haired woman.

Lorelai tried not to react, but her eyes widened and her lips pursed. "Well, after the whole cheating thing, I guess he wasn't feeling very loving towards Nicole," she said instead.

"Sure, sure," Liz replied agreeably, but the look on her face told Lorelai she wasn't buying it. Lorelai knew it was a weak excuse. Things between Luke and Nicole hadn't even escalated to that point by the Firelight Festival, when he had surprised her with the gift.

"Liz." A deep voice interrupted their conversation. Luke stepped closer, positioning himself between the two ladies. He saw Liz's crafty smile and narrowed his eyes. "She pestering you?" he asked Lorelai, tipping his glass slightly in Liz's direction.

"No, she was just telling me about her jewelry business," Lorelai said, fixing a bright smile on her face.

"Well, I'm going to go find TJ," Liz said, squeezing Luke's shoulder lovingly. "See ya later, big brother."

As she walked away, craning her neck to spot her new husband, Luke turned back to Lorelai. "What did she say to you?"

"Nothing," Lorelai replied. She took a lingering sip from her wine in order to avoid answering further questions. Luke watched her for a moment, then decided to let it go. Another friend of Liz and TJ's sidled up to them, and they were caught in another conversation.

* * *

 _The lost open windows_

 _All around_

* * *

"I hate to be a party pooper," Lorelai said slowly, as they finished their drinks.

"You need to get home?" Luke asked. He felt a twinge of disappointment that their evening had already come to an end. He took her glass and set both of them on a nearby table.

"Yeah, I have a lot to do tomorrow." She began to fidget in a manner he found adorable. Her hands swept through her hair, removing her flowery wreath. "Rory's coming home now that she's done with finals and I have some last minute things I need to do before the test run."

"I'll walk you home," he said.

"Oh no, that's fine," she replied, flustered.

"I insist," he said, dropping his chin and giving her a shy smile that she couldn't help but think meant something more than just the words alone.

The walk home in the dark was tranquil. Just two old friends, side by side, the rustle of her dress and his jacket the only sounds at first. Lorelai felt nervous, but she couldn't quite put her finger on why. _It was that dance_ , she decided, _that's what it was_. The feel of his warm hand splayed across her back, her breasts crushed against his hard chest, and the pounding of his heart betraying his calm exterior. She felt a shiver run down her spine as she recalled how it had felt to be in such close proximity. Her nervous instincts took over, and she began babbling about all the crazy and weird happenings from the wedding and reception.

When she admitted that the dance was her favorite part of the evening, she felt something between them shift. He looked increasingly confident, but she felt like a nervous wreck. And after he suggested they go see a movie together, it was becoming increasingly difficult for her to keep it together. But she couldn't end the night like this. Not after everything had already changed between them. There was no going back.

"You want a beer?" she asked, as he turned to leave. He seemed surprised, but agreed. She slipped inside, depositing the wreath on the table next to the door, and continuing to the kitchen. She paused as she reached the refrigerator, holding onto the handle tightly. Closing her eyes, she took a couple of deep breaths, then grabbed two beers and returned to the porch.

* * *

 _My dark heart lit up the skies_

* * *

Luke was already sitting on the porch steps when she came back outside. She sat next to him, careful to leave plenty of space between them.

"So Jess seems like he's doing alright," Lorelai said, handing him the beer. Their fingers brushed against each other slightly as he took the bottle from her. He felt the familiar jolt of desire just from her casual touch, but this time he noticed that she felt it, too.

"Yeah, I think he's finally getting it together."

Lorelai nudged him with her shoulder. "Thanks to you," she said.

Luke snorted. "Maybe, I don't know. Maybe he just got lucky."

"Nah, it's you. You don't know how much it helped him, having you in his corner." She smiled. "I might have to check out that book, maybe it's a miracle cure. Where do you think he got it?" Luke coughed, and she glanced over at him. He clearly looked embarrassed. "No!" she gasped in surprise.

"You're the one who said we probably had Dr. Phil in our future!" he said defensively.

"Half the time I'm babbling away I don't think you're actually listening to me," she replied, a teasing note to her voice.

"I'm just tired of being alone," Luke said with a sigh. He tipped his bottle back and drained the rest. "Aren't you?"

"Yeah," she replied quietly, her thoughts tumbling all over the place. They were dancing around it, but not quite reaching what was bubbling just under the surface between them. It hadn't been that long ago she had been a blubbering mess on his shoulder, wailing about wanting a partner to pick up her slack. He couldn't have forgotten all the times she had whined and complained about having the "whole package". She didn't understand what was happening. Was this really Luke "Only Ducks Mate for Life" Danes? Did he want more?

"This was a great night. Thanks for the beer. I'll let you get your rest." He stood up, placing the empty bottle on the porch. "Good night," he said, and she nodded in response. He started walking down the driveway, an easy lope to his gait. Lorelai couldn't take it anymore. She had to know.

* * *

 _Give up the ground_

 _Under your feet_

* * *

"Was this a date?"

The question stopped Luke in his tracks, mid-stride. He turned slowly to face her. She hadn't moved from her spot on the porch stairs, but her head was down and she was prying the label on her beer bottle with her fingernail.

"Would it be okay if it was?" he asked, his throat suddenly dry.

"That depends," she replied, looking up to meet his eyes. He couldn't read her expression in the dim porch light. She looked at him, and he waited for her to continue. "Is there going to be an end of the date kiss?"

"Do you want me to kiss you?" His voice was hoarse and his heart was beating fast.

"Come here," she whispered.

* * *

 _And now that I've worn out, I've worn out the world_

 _I'm on my knees in fascination_

* * *

He came closer, kneeling forward onto the bottom step between her legs and steadying himself so he was looking into her eyes. He reached a hand to her neck, and pulled her closer with a gentle, feather-light touch. Tentatively, their lips met. The kiss was slow and soft, lips brushing gently, getting to know each other in this new way. She clung to his neck, and he moved the other arm to go around her waist. They were so wrapped up in one another that they were barely aware that Lorelai's beer fell over, rolling down the steps and spilling its remaining contents.

* * *

 _Looking through the night_

* * *

Rory could tell something was different when she approached the house. It was a little past midnight when she made it back to Stars Hollow. She was still shaken after her confrontation with Jess. She had originally intended to spend one last night in her dorm room and pack up her car in the morning. But the idea of being, as far as she was aware, the last person on campus filled her with too much anxiety to sleep. After sitting in her empty room for awhile, feeling confused and sick to her stomach, she decided to leave everything and come back for it the next morning.

She began to climb the front steps when she saw the discarded beer bottle. Wrinkling her forehead in confusion, she walked to the door and slipped her key in the lock. When she opened it, her eyes fell on a trail of clothing that started just inside the foyer and appeared to lead to the staircase. She knew that her mom had been planning to go to Liz's wedding, and was slightly concerned that she drank too much tequila and passed out naked before making it to her bed. But as her eyes adjusted to the dark interior, she saw the suit jacket.

Slowly backing up, Rory went back outside and shut the door. She locked it quietly. Tucking a few stray strands of hair behind her ears, she decided to spend the night at Lane's. It would be less likely to be traumatizing for all of them that way. On her way back to her Prius, she couldn't help but giggle a little that her mother had finally seen what had been waiting for her all of this time.

* * *

 _And the moon's never seen me before_

 _But I'm reflecting light_

* * *

Luke lay on his back, half covered by the sheet, as Lorelai slept beside him. He should be asleep, too, but his thoughts were racing. He replayed the conversation he'd had with Jess just a few days before. He'd announced that things were going to change, and that he wasn't going to be so hopeless with relationships going forward. But he hadn't even dreamed that a simple wedding invite could have been all it took. He had planned for the long haul; a slow yet persistent courtship. He was going to woo her with dates and flowers, embrace his inner romantic fool.

His grand plans seemed to be for nothing. Inwardly, he scolded himself. Maybe if he had asked her on a date years ago, they could be married by now. Maybe he would have gotten over his irrational fear of children. The thought of a curly-haired, blue-eyed baby made equally of each of them stirred feelings within him that he didn't even know he possessed. Living in the past was pointless, he knew. He could only look forward, to a future he hadn't dared hope for. Until now.

She was radiant. It was the only word that came to mind as he gazed over her sleeping body. The only light in the room came from the moon outside her curtain, bathing her bare body in strips of blue light. Her hair was spread over the pillow, and he gently swept an errant curl behind her ear. He couldn't recall the last time he had felt so whole and at peace. She was simply radiant.

* * *

 _A/N:_ _A few things. First, I know that Lorelai wasn't wearing the earrings at the wedding, but I couldn't find another place where she had mentioned them to Liz and I thought it would be more organic if she was already wearing them. Little creative license!_

 _Next, I made a Spotify playlist for this fic, so you can see what other songs I'm considering down the line. You can find it at spotify user/meags/playlist/4bfIFvfeuotostNkrgsyqK_

 _Third and last, I'm considering trying to use a beta. So if you are interested, please send me a PM. Later chapters may very well have smut, so be warned. Thanks for reading/following/faving/reviewing!_


	4. I Will Always Love You

_If I should stay, I'll only be in your way_

* * *

I had to escape. My chest was heaving, but I managed to make it into the alley behind KC's before completely losing it. Great, gasping sobs wracked my body as I slumped against the dirty brick wall. I was never going to touch tequila again. Every time, it only ended up breaking my heart even more. And I couldn't take anymore of this heartache. Not to mention the embarrassment. It was like I couldn't help but be in the middle of all of these embarrassingly huge public spectacles. Oh, there's Lorelai, screwing up again. I wanted to hide and never show my face again.

For the first time, I started to think about leaving Stars Hollow. Maybe that guy from the Durham Group was still interested. I knew I couldn't outrun my memories of Luke, but staying here was just making it too easy to continually make a fool of myself. Rory was about to leave the nest. I had the Dragonfly, but I could do some traveling and still retain ownership. It's not like I'd be gone forever, just until things settled, until I could stop loving Luke so much.

* * *

 _So I'll go, but I know I'll_

 _Think of you every step of the way_

* * *

I felt him coming closer before I saw him. I wiped a fresh wave of tears from my face and looked up to face him. He looked pained. God, I embarrassed him.

"Are you okay?" he asked softly.

"No," I said, my voice cracked and hoarse. "I'm sorry," I added.

"For what?" He looked genuinely confused.

"For humiliating you," I answered morosely. "I know you're a private person, and I just aired our dirty laundry in one tequila-soaked serenade."

"So it _was_ for me?" He looked so serious, so handsome. I wanted to throw myself into his arms, like I used to. I missed him. I missed us together.

"It was supposed to be for Rory, it was a joke. And then..." I trailed off helplessly.

"Come on," he said, pulling me gently by the arm. "I'll make you some coffee." He led me through the town square, toward the diner. I was surprised when he pulled me around the back, through the other entrance. "Don't want the town crazies thinking I'm open," he explained gruffly, noticing my look of confusion.

He led me up to the apartment, and my heart began to pound. The last time I had been up here, we had made love. Only I hadn't known then that it would be the last time for both of those things.

It was a few days after that birthday party. The one that I thought was going to be a turning point. Well, I guess I wasn't entirely wrong about that. It was a turning point - just in the wrong direction. I had been so excited to share this part of his life. How had it gotten so screwed up?

After April found him, our nights together seemed to spread further and further apart. He made so many excuses to be at the diner overnight, and I just didn't feel like inviting myself over. When we were first dating, he would drop hints or say things that told me he wanted me to stay. He'd ask if I needed to run by the house to pick up clothes, or if he should wait up for me. But after April came into his life, he would say goodnight and that was that. And forget him spending the night at my place, even though I thought he would have moved in after the renovations were done.

Just the memory of that last time made my eyes sting with fresh tears. He'd been just as attentive and loving as usual, showering me with kisses and caressing my body. He usually liked to take his time making love to me, soft and unhurried, like we had all the time in the world. And I thought we did.

* * *

 _Bittersweet memories_

 _That is all I'm taking with me_

* * *

Luke unlocked the door, and ushered me into the apartment. I looked around, taking in the changes. A few splashes of color, a new bedspread on Jess' old twin bed. I sat gingerly on the couch, tucking my hands underneath my thighs. I didn't know what I was doing up here. I was still pretty tipsy, but despite that it seemed like being alone with Luke in his apartment was a monumentally bad idea.

"I like the changes," I said, trying to pretend that it wasn't horrible and awkward to be here.

He chuckled. "Yeah, April introduced me to Target. She helped me realize how depressing this place was."

"Ah," I said, feeling a stab of pain and willing the tears to stay away. How could he be so casual about something that had tore me apart? But even as I felt that surge of anger, a wave of guilt crashed into me, nearly taking my breath away. Despite the complete betrayal of not telling me about his daughter and not sharing that part of his life with me, I had hurt him so much worse when I had gone to Christopher.

He had already pulled the coffee maker out of his cabinet. I was surprised that he still had it. But then, Luke was the type of person to hold onto things, even if they made him sad. That Williams Hardware sign outside probably reminded him every day about his dad, but he adamantly refused to take it down. Maybe the idea that he hung on to it was a good sign - he didn't want to expel my memory from his life.

I was still lost in my thoughts when he held out the mug of hot coffee in front of me. I took it, refusing to meet his eyes. I knew if I looked into his eyes, I'd start crying all over again, and I wanted to at least pretend I was getting a grip on myself.

* * *

 _We both know I'm not what you, you need_

* * *

"You deserve better than this," I mumbled, staring into my cup.

"Better than what?" he asked, still moving around the kitchen.

"Me. This. All I've done the last year is hurt you."

"I hurt you, too," he said quietly.

"I should have waited," I said, feeling fresh tears spill down my face. "I should have waited forever. I've been so miserable this past year."

"You don't deserve that either," he said, sitting down across from me on the coffee table.

"I do deserve it, I got everything I deserved. You need someone who isn't so selfish."

"I need you," he whispered, reaching his hand out to cup my cheek. I closed my eyes, focusing on the feel of his touch.

"You don't mean that," I whispered back. "I'm a horrible person. I hurt everyone I love. I was too focused on myself and my pain, I didn't even think about the consequences."

"And I hate myself for letting you get to that point," he said, gently moving his hand from my cheek to tip my chin up toward him. I finally met his eyes. They were so blue and endless.

* * *

 _And I hope you have all you've dreamed of_

* * *

"I can't do this anymore," I blurted. He pulled back, surprised.

"Do what?" he asked, looking alarmed.

"Hurt you. Be hurt. It's tearing me apart. I just can't." I took a deep breath, looking down again. "I was thinking about calling that guy from the Durham group. Maybe a little travel could clear my head, you know?"

"No," he replied. My head snapped up to look at him. His jaw was set, and he was gazing at me with a look I couldn't describe.

"No?" I asked.

"Lorelai, listen. I don't know what's going on between us, but I do know that I'm not ready to let you go."

"Y-you're not?" I stammered. He noticed my hands beginning to shake, and he took the almost full cup from me and set it beside him on the coffee table. Then he grabbed my hands in his, and looked at me intently.

"Lorelai," he began, hesitantly. "I know you think I will never forgive you, but I have. I was ready to forgive you that night you came to the hospital when April had her appendix out."

"But I was -" I gasped, feeling even more tears well up in my eyes. I was starting to feel dizzy from all the crying and I could feel a headache forming.

"Yeah. You were." I'll never forget the look on Luke's face when he saw the plain gold wedding band I was wearing that day. Suddenly, it made sense why he had given me that look of complete and utter devastation. He had forgiven me, he wanted to try again. But I had already given up hope.

"I'd given up," I said quietly, ducking my head. "I thought Chris was my last chance at - you know, the middle, the whole package."

"And now?" he asked, bending down to look me in the eyes again.

"I don't know," I said.

* * *

 _But above all this, I wish you love_

* * *

"I love you," he said softly, still bent forward, looking into my eyes. I blinked, and a few tears rolled down my face. He gently wiped them away. "Do you love me?"

"Always," I practically whimpered. He didn't even hesitate after that. He pulled me to him, and pressed his lips firmly yet still gently to mine. I clung to his shoulders, reveling in the feeling of kissing him again, after almost a whole year had passed since the last time.

"Let me show you how much I love you," he said into my ear. I felt a shiver run down my spine. He got up, taking my hand to pull me with him. I followed dumbly, as he led us to his bed.

We stood facing each other beside the mattress, and I hesitated. I was still somewhat drunk, so I didn't know if it was still the tequila talking, or if this was actually a good idea. "What are we doing?" I asked.

"I'm letting my actions speak," he replied, pulling me closer.

* * *

 _And I will always love you_

* * *

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but there was no happily ever after at the end of that movie, right?" he asked, as we lay in his bed, our limbs still tangled together.

"What movie?" I asked sleepily.

"The one with the song you sang."

"The Bodyguard?"

"Yeah."

"How did _you_ end up seeing The Bodyguard?"

"I have a sister," he said drily.

"But that movie came out when Rory was 8. I remember because it wasn't long after the clown birthday incident. So I was ... " I did the math in my head, which was harder than usual with the remains of all that Cuervo in my system.. "I was 24. You were _not_ still living with her when you were 27."

"Fine, I had girlfriends."

"There's no way Rachel took you to that movie. It must have been..." I realized exactly who he saw that movie with. The timing fit perfectly. The comfortable companionship between us shifted into awkward silence.

"Lorelai," Luke said softly, shifting his body to face me. I turned my head to look at him. "I shouldn't have kept you and April apart. It was a mistake, and I will be paying for it every day in time lost. If we do this again, and I hope to god we do, then I promise I won't shut you out anymore." I let out a breath, feeling more tears slip out as I tried to smile. Luke brushed them away with his fingers. "I love you," he whispered. "And I always will."

"I love you, too," I whispered back. "But you're forgetting something."

"What's that?" he asked, pulling my body against his and wrapping his arms tightly around me.

"That song was _all_ Dolly."

 _A/N: Much thanks to my beta Skinfull for reviewing this chapter!_


	5. I Can't Get Started

_A/N: Much thanks to my beta, Skinfull, who saved this chapter from going to an unintentionally dark place. Do yourself a favor and read her stuff if you haven't already._

 _This chapter got a little smutty, so be aware. This may be my last regular update in awhile as I am puzzling out the next chapter of Benefits. Thanks for all the great reviews! _

* * *

Sookie and Jackson's wedding was beautiful, but Lorelai couldn't enjoy it. She was still reeling from the shock of Christopher leaving, again. Again! How could she let herself get so wrapped up in his charm that she was blind-sided yet again? She felt stupid. Rory had disappeared with a lame excuse, so she didn't even have her partner-in-crime handy. Everyone around her looked happy and was having a great time, but she felt miserable. Maybe a drink would help. Giving in to her baser instincts, she sidled up to the bar.

"Greg!" she called, waving down the bartender. When he looked up, she slapped her palms against the temporary counter they set up outside for the wedding. "Gimme 3 shots of your Silver Cuervo and don't skimp on the limes." She hit her palms in a slappy sounding drum beat. "Ándale! Ándale!" Greg rolled his eyes, but he was used to his boss' antics, and grabbed the bottle of tequila from its spot on the back counter.

* * *

 _I'm a glum one, it's explainable, I met someone unattainable_

 _Life's a bore, the world is my oyster no more_

* * *

By the time she was on her fourth shot, the tequila was starting to work its magic. She was enjoying herself by dancing to a cheesy disco number with some guy when she spotted Luke at the bar. She was so surprised to see him, she wandered over, abruptly leaving her dance partner in the middle of the song.

"Didn't expect to see you here," she said, swaying slightly on her feet.

"Ah," he said, grabbing the beer that Greg handed him. "Well, you know, Jackson and Sookie are friends of mine, too, so I thought I'd come by and pass along my well wishes."

"Give me another, Greg," she said, leaning her hip against the side of the bar.

"Last one," he said, pouring the tequila into the shot glass. He pushed the bowl of limes over. Luke watched as she licked her wrist, and shook the salt on it.

"Like what you see?" she asked flirtatiously. He rolled his eyes, saying nothing, but continuing to watch her as she knocked back the shot and shuddered at the strong taste. She looked him in the eye as she sucked on the lime, but he turned his head away from her. She shrugged, and sauntered back toward the dance floor.

* * *

 _But lately I'm so downhearted, 'cause I can't get started with you_

* * *

The next morning, Lorelai could feel her head pounding as she stirred. Her mouth felt like it was stuffed with socks, and the glimmers of light that peeked through somewhat familiar curtains were like daggers. She tried to sit up, but there was something holding her down. She looked down and saw a bare arm draped across her breasts. Her _naked_ breasts.

Despite the blinding light and pounding ache, her head whipped around to look to her left. And her heart plunged into her stomach as she saw Luke, asleep next to her in one of the Independence Inn's guest rooms.

"Luke!" she whispered loudly, panicked. She ignored the intense pain in her head. She gripped his arm and shook it.

"Whuh-" he mumbled, then his eyes blinked open. She saw him wince, and then crinkle his forehead. His eyes adjusted and he looked directly at her bare breasts, which were at his eye level. His eyes widened, and he looked up to meet her face, pulling his arm back quickly. "What did we do?" he asked, looking just as panicked as she felt.

"Oh god!" Lorelai cried, jumping out of the bed and racing for the complimentary guest robe hanging on the bathroom door. She flung it around herself and tied the sash, turning to look at Luke. He was sitting up in the bed, one hand pressed to his forehead, the other bunching up the sheet at his waist.

"I guess we must have … " he trailed off. He bent over to peer over the side of the bed, looking for something discarded. "I didn't have … anything," he said.

"I'm on the pill," she said, her heart still racing, unable to believe she was having a safe sex conversation with Luke, post-coitus. "And I'm clean."

"Me, too," he said. They stared at each other. "Now what?" he asked finally.

"Well, I don't know what you expect me to say. I was drunk. I don't remember anything." She turned to face the wall, unable to look him in the eye. "Was this some kind of revenge?" she asked bitterly.

"What?!" All sense of modesty gone, Luke bolted from the bed, and walked over to her angrily. He grabbed her by the shoulders and turned her to face him. She couldn't look at him. She felt ashamed for what she was saying, but she felt even more ashamed for ending up in this situation to begin with. "You can't be serious," he growled.

Mustering up all the strength she could, she lifted her chin. "Well, you tell me," she said coldly. "I thought you were mad at me. Then, I wake up in bed with you. You must have seduced me somehow to get here."

His jaw dropped, and he stared at her. "Seduced you? You think I seduced you?" His hands dropped from her shoulders, and he took a step back. "Apparently, you don't know me at all," he said, then turned from her, pulling on his clothes silently. She didn't turn around until after she heard the door slam shut behind him. She winced at the loud bang, and only then did she let the tears fall.

* * *

 _O tell me why am I no kick to you, I who'd always stick to you_

* * *

 _Two guys in 24 hours._

Lorelai walked home, her head feeling like it would burst open with every step. _I'm. A. Slut. I'm. A. Slut._ She heard those words in her head as her footsteps made a staccato beat against the concrete sidewalk. She squeezed her eyes shut against the bright sunlight, feeling lower than low. Not only did she feel like the world's biggest whore, she also felt awful for having blamed Luke for everything. It wasn't his fault she was so easy. She decided to go home, take something for her aching head, and take a nap. Once she woke up, she would go apologize to Luke and try to salvage at least one relationship in her life.

She just hoped he wouldn't start hating her all over again.

* * *

 _Fly through thin and thick to you, tell me why I'm taboo_

* * *

When she walked inside the diner, she wasn't surprised to see Caesar working. When she asked for Luke, he pointed upstairs to the apartment.

"He's in a bad mood," he stage-whispered. "Just so you know." She nodded, feeling more guilt knowing that she was most likely the reason he was upset. She carefully climbed the stairs. Her head felt marginally better, but her stomach was flip-flopping all over the place. She knocked on the door, and waited.

He stared at her after he opened the door. His face was expressionless, and it scared her a little. She wanted him to yell at her, but this blank look was unnerving.

"I'm sorry," she blurted. "I was awful to you this morning. I know you're not like that, and I was scared and I said those horrible things." She looked at her feet, waiting for him to respond.

She heard him sigh. "Come in," he said gruffly. A feeling of hope sparked in her gut. Maybe he wouldn't hate her forever after all. She walked inside the apartment slowly.

"We should talk," Lorelai began, twisting her hands nervously. Luke nodded, and gestured for her to sit down at the kitchen table. She sat, folding her hands into her lap and staring at them.

"So, let's talk," he said. They sat across from each other in silence for what seemed like an eternity, neither of them really knowing what to say to each other.

Lorelai was the first to break. "So, that was a mistake, right?" she asked.

"Do you think it was a mistake?" When she looked up at him, he had a calm yet serious expression. Fleetingly, she considered how handsome he was, but tried to dismiss the thought and focus on their conversation.

"Well, neither of us remember it, so it has to be a mistake."

"I remember a little," he admitted.

"Oh," she said. "How much?"

"Well," he began. "I remember seeing you at the bar, and then we started drinking, we danced a little, and then you ... you kissed me."

" _I_ kissed _you_?"

He blushed, looking down at the table. "Yeah." He cleared his throat.

"So, was it ... good?" Lorelai couldn't believe she was asking this but her curiosity was getting the best of her.

"I think it was, yeah," he said, then cleared his throat again. His face was still a bit flushed. "It was ... amazing."

"Oh," she said, her heart starting to pound. "I wish I could ... remember ... "

"I can, uh -" He got up, walked around the table and over to her. He touched her cheek with his hand, and she leaned into it. He bent over and kissed her lightly. "If you want," he whispered.

"I want," she replied without thinking, as he pressed his lips to hers again. The kiss was soft and sweet, and she melted into him.

 _Lorelai was dancing with one of Jackson's less awful cousins when Luke came up to them._

 _"May I cut in?" he asked. Lorelai was surprised, but allowed him to lead her away. He placed a hand on her lower back and grasped one of hers with the other._

 _"Still hate me?" she said, slurring her words slightly._

 _"I never hated you," he replied, pulling her closer so their hips were flush against each other._

 _"You wouldn't talk to me. You acted like my apology was meaningless."_

 _"You don't understand," he said. "I was just ..." But words weren't coming easy to him at that moment. With the alcohol from several beers coursing through his veins, his self-control was practically non-existent. He couldn't prevent himself from getting hard at their close contact. It wasn't long before Lorelai felt him through the thin material of their clothing. A wicked smile curved her lips. She rolled her hips toward him, and he groaned._

 _"I guess there's a fine line between love and hate," she murmured into his ear. He closed his eyes. Both of his hands moved to grasp her hips and he tried to still her movements, but she wouldn't let him. He felt her breath tickling his cheek, and she tilted her head. A kiss landed on his cheek, then moved to his jaw. When she made it to his lips, the final shred of self-control evaporated. He kissed her hungrily, pouring all of his hurt and love into the kiss._

 _They broke apart, breathless. "Come with me," Lorelai said, pulling his arm. He tried to turn his body so that he wasn't on display for the entire town to see, but luckily it was dark and no one was paying attention to them._

 _"Where are we going?" he asked, as she pulled him into the lobby of the Inn. She ducked behind the front desk and emerged with a key._

 _"Lucky you, having an in with the manager," she said, an evil glint in her eyes. He wanted to refuse, to tell her they needed to slow down, but all the blood in his body had migrated south and he was incapable of making a rational decision._

 _They burst through the door, already undressing each other before they had closed it behind them. They fell onto the bed, pushing back the duvet and never breaking their kiss. Lorelai ran her hands over his muscled chest, and he cupped her breasts with his hands._

 _"I love you," he said breathlessly._

 _"I know," she said, and pushed her tongue into his mouth._

The memories came back in flashes as his tongue traced her bottom lip. She parted her lips, and the kiss deepened. She stood to embrace him, circling her arms around his neck. He pulled back slightly, and looked into her eyes. "We don't have to go any further," he whispered, his hands rubbing circles on her back gently.

"I've already seen you naked," she whispered back. He blushed again. "Don't be embarrassed," she said, kissing him lightly. "You're beautiful."

"Guys aren't beautiful," he said, his hands traveling up to tug on a stray curl of her hair.

"You are," she said softly, framing his face with her hands. "Like a Greek god." She let her hands drop to his flannel shirt, and toyed with the top button. "Please make love to me?" Luke didn't stop to think it over after that.

 _She was laying on the bed underneath him, her cheeks pink and her eyes bright. Her lips were swollen from his kisses, and there was a bruise forming on her left breast from where he had sucked her skin vigorously. He had never seen anyone more beautiful in his life. Her hands were roaming over his chest and he felt his whole body pulsing with desire for her. He gripped his cock and teased her folds with it, watching her face as she gasped with pleasure. He rubbed against her clit, feeling his own desire overwhelming him. "Now," she panted, reaching her hands to place him where she wanted him. He plunged into her, her wetness propelling him faster than he had anticipated. She enveloped him to the hilt, her eyes rolling back into her head and sighs of pleasure bursting from her lips. He bent down to capture those lips, kissing her with everything he had. He didn't want to rush this. This moment, despite the complete surprise it had been, was everything he had hoped they could be and more._

This time, he removed her clothing carefully, slowly, not wanting to miss a minute as he unveiled her body once more. She was wearing the same underwear as last night, but he didn't care. It was just as arousing this time as it had been before, except he took the time to savor the swell of her breasts encased in the lacy bra, and the curve of her hips that disappeared into the cotton panties.

 _He tried vainly to keep his eyes open as he felt her hurtling toward completion. She was tensing, squeezing him from deep inside, but he was nearing his own release. He heard her cry out his name, and that was enough to push him over the edge. He tried to hold himself up so he didn't squash her, but his arms were shaking and his whole body felt liquid. She wrapped her legs around his torso, and ran her hands through his hair. When he could feel his limbs again, he rolled off of her gently. Their eyes met, and he saw her sleepy gaze. She looked sated and, if possible, even more beautiful._

 _"Stay with me?" she whispered, her eyes closing. He wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her neck, breathing in the scent of their union and drifting to sleep._

"So, that time could not be classified as a mistake," she said, draping her body over his, and looking down into his face.

"Good," he said, smiling up at her.

"I might need my memory refreshed again," she said, resting her head on his chest, feeling his heartbeat beneath his skin.

"Hmm?" he replied, tangling his fingers through her curls.

"Yeah," she said, her eyes drifting shut. "As often as possible."


	6. Lazy Hazy Crazy Days of Summer

"I am in exactly the same place that I was in before," Lorelai was saying to Luke, as she sat in the empty diner, staring into the cup of coffee that she poured herself. She'd left Friday Night Dinner in a haze of tears, the reproachful words her parents had said still ringing in her ears. According to them, it was all her fault that Chris was marrying Sherry, all because of decisions she made as a 16 year old girl. Feeling sad and alone, she went to the one place she always felt at home, but the air between them was still icy.

"Why are you telling me this?" Luke asked before she could continue, looking irritated.

"I, uh, don't know," she faltered. She picked up the cup, trying to hold back the tears but she could feel her control slipping. She was glad there was no one else around to witness her humiliation.

"Look," he said evenly. "Come into the diner. Order food. I'll give you a hard time about all the crap you eat and the coffee you drink. But I _really_ don't want to hear about your love life."

Lorelai was stunned into silence. She quickly wiped the tears from her face, and bobbed her head in something approximating agreement. She gathered her stuff and started walking slowly toward the door, her head bent down.

"Lorelai," he called, as she gripped the doorknob. She paused, and looked over at him, still blinking tears away. He looked somewhat remorseful. "You and me, we're good, okay?" Lorelai sniffled, and tried a weak smile, then walked out into the night. She wanted to believe him, but she knew he didn't really mean it. The sounds of that annoying song echoed through the Stars Hollow streets, only making her feel more depressed and alone. Once she got home, she told Rory that she and Luke had made up, but when she went to bed, she cried herself to sleep.

* * *

 _And on the beach you'll see the girls in their bikinis_

 _As cute as ever but they never get 'em wet_

* * *

Damn, it was hot. Lorelai could barely concentrate on anything due to this unexpected heat wave. She'd tried to cool off by lounging around on her back porch in her bikini, but she still felt like she was melting. The heat was so oppressive, she couldn't even concentrate on her _People_ magazine. She tried using it to fan herself, but it didn't make a lick of difference. Looking around the backyard, she spotted the water hose. _Perfect_ , she thought. A little cool water could make all the difference.

She turned the spigot and felt the hose come to life in her hands. Preparing herself for the jolt of cold, she turned the spray toward her body. But the cold water on her hot skin didn't surprise her. Instead, it felt a little titillating. She let the water cascade over her back, down between her breasts, and roll down her thighs in blissful rivulets.

Suddenly, she heard a deep voice. "Let me," he said. She looked up to see Luke, but for some reason it didn't seem strange for him to be there. He was wearing khaki shorts but was bare chested, and he took the hose from her hands. After he aimed it at himself, he turned it back to her, following the trail of water with his hands as it slid down her body. She felt herself growing aroused, and couldn't help but reach out a hand to his chest, to feel his wet skin and trace the droplets of water that collected among the dusting of hair. He dropped the hose then, and the water splashed out around their toes. He pulled her closer with one arm and then seized her mouth with a deep, passionate kiss.

 _Eh! Eh! Eh!_

Lorelai jolted awake, sitting up and getting her feet tangled up in the sheet. Her heart was pounding and she felt flushed and ... aroused? Immediately, the dream came back to her. _This is ridiculous_ , she thought to herself, sorting out the sheet and slamming the off button on her alarm. First the dream about the twins and the coffee and now she was practically having sex dreams about Luke.

After pulling her hair back in a messy ponytail, she trudged down the stairs. These nocturnal _Dear Penthouse_ entries were starting to affect her beauty sleep. She banged around in the kitchen, making coffee, feeling irritated and stupid and unsatisfied.

Rory poked her head out of her bedroom door. "What's wrong with you?" she asked groggily. She stepped into the kitchen, rubbing her eyes and yawning.

"Sorry," Lorelai said with a sigh. "I had another dream last night and it's starting to piss me off."

"About Luke? Did you have the twins this time or were you still pregnant?"

Lorelai dumped coffee grounds into the filter and slammed it into place. "Not exactly," she said, trying to decide if she should share the details with Rory. "I'm just starting to think it has less to do with Chris and more to do with Luke."

"So you're finally ready to admit that you love him?"

"What? No!" She grabbed a mug from the cabinet and set it under the flow of coffee. "I think it was just bothering me about him hating me and not talking to me, and my subconscious just got it all confused, that's all."

"So tell me about the dream." Rory sat down at the kitchen table, propping her chin into her hands.

"Well, in the dream we were having a heat wave, so I decided to cool myself off with the water hose outside. I was wearing my bathing suit, and then Luke just appeared, and we started kissing..." Lorelai trailed off.

"Please tell me that's all there was," Rory said with a grimace.

"Yeah, I woke up after that, alarm went off."

"So what do you think would have happened if the alarm clock hadn't gone off?"

"I don't know. I don't want to think about it." Lorelai switched the mugs under the coffee maker, handing the first one to Rory. She reached into a box of Pop-Tarts and placed two in the toaster. She stared as the element inside the toaster turned red. "I just really missed him. He hasn't talked to me all summer. It's been awful."

"Mmm-hmm," Rory said noncommittally. Lorelai turned to face her daughter, who was giving her a raised eyebrow look, that clearly indicated she didn't believe a word.

"What? Things between me and Luke aren't like that. I just feel so guilty! I know I hurt him and it sucks that he can't forgive me. He said we were good, that we could go back to the diner, but something just isn't the same."

* * *

 _Right from the moment that those lovers start arrivin'_

 _You'll see more kissin' in the cars than on the screen_

* * *

The drive-in theater was mostly empty, but she was glad for the respite. After the crazy few days she'd been having, she deserved some relaxation. She watched the movie and absently ate popcorn, not even caring what the plot of the movie was, just enjoying this time to kick back.

"Red vines?" Luke asked, offering her the package.

"Ooh, yes please!" She went to grab them, but he lifted them up high. She crawled over to his side of the backseat, trying to grab the package. "You're not playing fair!" she pouted, swiping at them again as he moved them just out of her reach.

"What will you give me for them?" he asked in a dangerously seductive voice.

"What do you want?" she asked, breathless. Her heartbeat quickened. He leaned forward, kissing her. She was aware of the package of Red Vines falling from his hands, she heard it hit the floor, but she was helpless to stop him from running his hands over her body. As he kissed her, his hands crept up her skirt and began to tease the edges of her panties. She could feel her body responding with desire.

She didn't want to wait anymore. She pulled him down on top of her and slid her body across the seat. His hands fondled her ass, her breasts, her thighs - anywhere he could reach. She fumbled with his belt, sliding it open and jerking down the zipper of his jeans. Her hand grabbed his hard cock, throbbing and ready for her. Her blouse was unbuttoned and her panties somehow vanished. Luke slid one finger inside her, then two, feeling her wetness. He pushed down his pants and boxers and positioned himself at her entrance.

"You ready, Lorelai?" he whispered. "Are you ready for me?"

"Yes," she panted.

"Do you want this, Lorelai?" he continued. "Do you want me?"

"Oh god, yes, I want you!" she cried.

The sound of her voice reverberated in her ears as she sat up suddenly. She was gasping for air, and the dark walls of her room felt like they were closing in on her. Frustrated, she fell back against her pillow and let out a growl.

* * *

 _Roll out those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer_

* * *

Lorelai was banging around in an old filing cabinet in the basement of the Independence Inn, looking for an old invoice she was certain had been paid, when she heard footsteps behind her. Startled, she turned around. Luke was standing there, looking surprised to see her and pretty uncomfortable about it.

"Hey," she said nervously.

"Hey," he answered. He pointed to the opposite corner from where she was digging through papers. "Someone called and said the air conditioning was out?"

"Oh, yeah," Lorelai said, wondering who had called Luke about that. She had meant to call a handyman from the Yellow Pages since she didn't think Luke would come. He nodded, and set off toward the unit. After several minutes, Lorelai found the invoice she needed, and headed towards the door. "See ya, Luke," she called, reaching for the doorknob.

It broke in two right in her hand.

"Uh, Luke?" she said, her voice tinged with hysteria. "We've got a problem here."

"What?" he asked, walking up to her while wiping his palms on his jeans. He had a sheen of perspiration on his forehead. The basement was fairly warm due to the air conditioning being out, but Lorelai had tried to ignore it since she hadn't planned on being in there for long. Holding the broken knob in her hand, she began to be very concerned about the lack of windows or cool air in the small room.

Luke looked at the knob in disbelief. "What did you do?" he asked, kneeling in front of the door to inspect the damage.

"I didn't do anything!" she cried. "I went to turn the doorknob and it just broke in my hands!"

She waited while he poked and prodded at the place where it had snapped off, and eventually sat on his heels. "It broke clean off, I don't know how we can jimmy it open this way."

"Where are your tools?" Lorelai asked, "Maybe you can unscrew the hinges or something."

"I don't have my tools."

"Why don't you have your tools? You always have your tools! How else are you supposed to fix the A/C without tools?"

"I was coming to see what parts I needed first," he replied testily. "Then I was going to come back with my tools and finish the job."

"Well, great, this is just great," she muttered. They stared at each other for a moment.

"Just call the front desk with your cell phone," he said.

"I don't have it!" She threw her hands up in the air. "I was only planning to be down here for a minute, I left it upstairs on my desk." Luke covered his face with his hands, groaning. "It's okay," Lorelai said, thinking, "Sookie knows I had to come downstairs to find an old invoice, so she'll figure out I'm here and come find me."

"How long will that take?"

"I don't know," she shrugged. "But she's got to notice sometime, right?" Luke gave her a look that let her know exactly how annoyed he was with the situation, but didn't say a word as he returned to the A/C unit. Lorelai sat on the floor next to the door, legs stretched out in front of her and hands clasped in her lap, waiting for Sookie to rescue them.

After several minutes, Luke appeared to have given up on the A/C, and sat across the room from her. He folded his arms in front of his chest, and stared at the floor.

As the time passed, Lorelai sat in silence, feeling increasingly grouchy as she felt sweat dripping between her shoulder blades, her breasts, and down her temples. It was bad enough to be stranded in a basement with someone that hated her and wouldn't hear her apologies, but to suffocate to death while doing it was torture. Feeling desperate, she reached her hands under her skirt and began to pull down her pantyhose, taking her heels with it.

"What are you doing?" Luke asked in alarm.

"Taking off my pantyhose," she said. "Don't worry, I won't scar your delicate sensibilities with anything more than bare legs." He snorted, but didn't say anything else. Lorelai tossed the hose and shoes aside. She leaned back against the wall and let out a big sigh.

A few minutes went by, and Luke bent forward, pulling off his flannel shirt, leaving a tight undershirt. Lorelai felt her pulse quicken, and looked away. Suddenly, the room felt even warmer. She was filled with nervous energy, and needed to find something to do. She got up and went back over to the filing cabinets, deciding to do some organizing while they were stuck there.

She could feel Luke's eyes on her as she bent over one of the cabinet drawers, and it took all of her self-control to ignore him. A droplet of sweat rolled into her eye and she wiped it away in frustration. She began to unbutton her blouse, and pulled it off, leaving her camisole as her only covering. She used the blouse to mop her face, although since it was satiny and smooth, it wasn't very effective. She hoped her makeup wasn't smeared.

Moving on to the next drawer, she tugged on it only to find that it was stuck. She pulled and pulled, grunting as the catch refused to release. Luke appeared next to her, and the skin on the back of her neck prickled, especially since she realized he was now not wearing a shirt at all. He pulled the drawer and it opened with ease, only serving to annoy Lorelai even more.

"Figures," she muttered.

"What?" Luke asked defensively. "I was helping you!"

"Sure, you help when you feel like it!"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

She whirled around to face him directly, but looking at his toned chest made all of her thoughts and accusations fly out of her head. "Ugh! I can't think when I'm staring at your chest like that!" she blurted.

"What's wrong with my chest?" he demanded, jabbing a finger to himself. "It's hot in here! And you took off half of _your_ clothes!"

"I'm still covered!" she argued. She knew he could probably see the outline of her bra through the thin camisole, but she didn't care. "You're just all in my head! It's your fault I've been having dreams about us!"

He stopped short. "Dreams? What kind of dreams?"

She waved her arms frantically, and turned away from him. "Oh, you know, sex dreams."

"Wait, what?"

"Whatever, it doesn't matter. Rory and I decided that it had to do with my guilt over the fight we had and nothing else."

"You tell Rory about your sex dreams?" he asked incredulously.

Lorelai felt defensive. "Not in detail," she replied angrily. "Rory's my best friend, you know that."

"She's still your daughter," he argued.

"I'm not talking about this with you," she said, and walked across the small room. "I don't even know why you care," she said petulantly. "You still hate me."

"I don't hate you," he said softly. She heard his footsteps as he came closer to her, but she refused to turn around.

"Then why were you so mean to me when I came into the diner?" she asked, feeling tears prick at her eyes.

"Look at me." She turned, and her knees turned to jelly as she saw the tender look on his face. He came closer to her, and reached for her arms. He held her loosely, rubbing his thumb into the crease of her elbows. "I don't hate you."

"Then why-"

"It kills me to see you hurt by that jerk," he said, his eyes looking deeply into hers. His voice dropped to a husky whisper. "I wouldn't hurt you like that." Before she knew what was happening, they were wrapped in an embrace, his palms flat against her back and his lips on hers. The sensation of his gentle kiss was the only thing she was aware of, and she snaked her arms around his neck and held on tightly.

"Oh, Luke," she murmured, as they broke apart to breathe. "I want you so much."

"You think you're the only one with dreams," he murmured, kissing a trail from her ear down to her neck. "The things I'm going to do to you, I've been dreaming about for a long time." A shiver went up her spine as he cupped her breast and squeezed lightly.

* * *

 _Those days of soda and pretzels and beer_

* * *

Despite being the first of September, the Connecticut evening was surprisingly warm. Lorelai wanted to take advantage of the Indian Summer weather, so when Luke showed up that evening, she had a cold beer and bowl of pretzels waiting for him.

"Ready for movie night, Gilmore style?" she asked, cocking her hip to the side. Luke grinned at her, and in a swift move, pulled her closer for a quick kiss.

"Ready as I'll ever be," he said, stepped past her into the living room. Rory was already seated on the floor, surrounded by pillows. She held up her soda to him as he accepted the beer that Lorelai pressed into his hands.

"A toast!" she said. "To many more Gilmore-Danes movie nights to come!"

"I'll toast to that," Lorelai said. As they clinked bottles, Luke and Lorelai shared a goofy grin.

* * *

 _You'll wish that summer could always be here_

* * *

 _A/N: I promise another chapter of Benefits is coming! Keep an eye on my Tumblr (meags09) for updates. Continued thanks to my beta Skinfull for reading over this!_


	7. Wedding Bell Blues

The words Christopher said reverberated in Luke's ears as he stalked off toward the entrance of the Windsor Club.

For now.

For now.

* * *

 _I look at you and see the passion eyes of May_

* * *

Everything at Richard and Emily's vow renewal had been going so much better than he had anticipated. Other than the passive aggressive remarks about his clothing, Lorelai's parents had pretty much left him alone. He shared a look with Lorelai during the ceremony that had made his heart soar. Sometimes, he couldn't believe his luck.

He loved being with her. Her joy, her quirks, her passion. Even when she was being a pain in the ass, all it took to shut her up now was a kiss. He loved her _even when_ she was being a pain in the ass. He knew he could be a grouch, and he didn't care. And most people in the town didn't try to change him. But Lorelai liked to push him out of his comfort zone. If it was anyone else, he would have told them to go to hell. When she did it, it somehow didn't seem so bad.

Life was a game to her, but damn it, if their relationship was also a game to her, he was out.

"Luke!" Lorelai called, running after him as quickly as her heels would let her. He slowed, but didn't stop walking. He was too angry to think straight. She finally caught up to him, and pulled his arm. He stopped, and looked down into her flushed face. "I don't know what he was talking about Luke, you have to believe me!"

He wanted to crumble, to forgive and forget, but he kept repeating Chris' words in his head and he felt fresh waves of anger. And something that felt a little like heartbreak.

"Is this just for now?" he asked, his voice low.

Lorelai shook her head wildly. "You and me, this is real," she said, still holding his arm. She squeezed, and gave him a reassuring smile. "Chris is old news, he's my past. You're … " she trailed off.

He wanted her to say it. He wanted her to admit that the two of them, they were forever. That was how he felt, and he'd told her so. He'd told her he was all in, what the hell else was that supposed to _mean_? He was putting all his eggs in the basket of their relationship, and he needed to know that she felt the same.

But she didn't finish the thought. She just looked up at him, hopeful. He bit back an angry retort. She thought he would just follow her around like a puppy, do anything she wanted. Because that's how their relationship had been for the last 8 years. He just dropped everything and did what she asked. But that was before, when he did it with no expectation of anything in return. But now, he had expectations. His heart was on the line, and he expected her not to break it.

He shrugged off her hand, and started walking toward the exit again. He heard a cry from Lorelai, something that sounded like despair, but he kept moving.

"Luke, stop!" she said, desperately.

"How do I know?" he spat out, spinning around to face her. She had been hurrying toward him but stopped suddenly.

"Know what?"

"Know that this isn't just _for now_?"

* * *

 _But kisses and love won't carry me till you marry me_

* * *

"I-I don't know what you want me to say," she said, stepping toward him, her head cocked to the side. He tried to ignore how beautiful she looked, how desperately he wanted to forget this and just take her back onto the dance floor. He needed to be strong.

"Say you'll marry me," he said. After the words left his mouth, he widened his eyes in shock. He hadn't meant to propose to her, but it just slipped out. But after they were out there, in the air between them, he meant it. He didn't want to take it back. He grabbed her hand, looking into her shocked face. "I want to marry you," he said. "I've wanted to marry you for years. But I'm not doing this thing with you if it's just _for now_."

She stared at him, mouth agape. He felt his heart breaking into tiny pieces, dissolving into his gut. Steeling his resolve, he gave a quick nod, and turned to walk out the door.

"Yes!" she screamed, just before he reached the heavy doors. He froze. "Yes, I'll marry you!" she yelled, sounding hysterical.

When he turned to face her, he expected her to be looking upset and scared. Afraid to lose him. But instead, she was beaming. She ran to him, wobbling a little as her heel gave way to the side. He caught her as she leapt into his arms. A laugh bubbled up from his chest and he couldn't help but match her wide smile.

"Are you sure?" he managed to say.

"Oh god yes!" she said happily. He kissed her, and she returned it eagerly, wrapping her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly. "Luke, of course I want to marry you," she said tenderly, as they pulled apart. "I didn't think you ever wanted to _get_ married. You know, all that talk about the box and the ducks and mating for life and all."

He felt a flush of embarrassment as he remembered the asinine speech he had given her when she was about to marry Max. "You know I was just jealous, right?" he said. "I want to be married. I want what my parents had. I want that with you."

* * *

 _I haven't lived one day not lovin' you only_

* * *

Loving Lorelai had never been easy. Despite the fact that she hadn't been the type to run around with a new guy every week, there had been a few, and he had hated every second of seeing her with someone else. A few casual dates in the years before Rory started Chilton, and then there had been Max. Oh god, Max. He'd thought then that his chance had passed forever. The chuppah had been half wedding present and half goodbye. He honestly didn't think their friendship could continue the same as it had if she had gone through with it. Max wasn't stupid, he probably could see how Luke felt about her a million miles away.

The way that he felt about her was different than any other relationship he'd had before, but only because they started as friends. When he met Lorelai, he just wasn't in the right frame of mind for a relationship. He barely even noticed how attractive she was. She also annoyed the hell out of him. It wasn't until he started fixing things at her house and seeing her at town events that he started to see past the wacky persona she adopted as her public face. When Rory had the chicken pox and he made her those mashed potatoes, he caught a glimpse of a tear-stained and worried face, and that was when he knew.

"Lor!"

They both turned to see Chris following them out into the lobby.

"Get the car, babe," she said, stepping out Luke's embrace. "I'm going to pose pretty for that stupid picture, then you and I are blowing this popsicle stand." He watched as she brushed past Chris with barely a glance. Chris looked bruised, standing alone in the middle of the ornate lobby, and Luke felt a shiver of satisfaction. He gave the other man a smirk, then strode toward the valet desk.

* * *

 _And though devotion rules my heart I take no bows_

* * *

Lorelai went back into the Rose Room to be present for the mandated picture. Rory was waiting next to her parents, looking much less disheveled. She gave her daughter a look to let her know they were going to discuss what she had walked in on only minutes before. As she sidled up next to her mother, she gave the camera a fake smile, but murmured into her ear, "Luke and I are getting married, and there's not a damn thing you can do to stop it. Don't expect an invitation."

She heard the gasp, but didn't react. She posed for the flash, and then walked away, hearing the satisfying click of her heels against the floor.

* * *

 _I got the wedding bell blues_

* * *

As Luke navigated the Jeep back towards Stars Hollow, the silence was palpable. "I'm sorry," Lorelai said quietly, leaning her head back on the headrest to watch Luke.

"For what?"

"For all that crap that Chris said. For whatever my mom did to make him think that was okay."

"It's fine," he said.

"No, it's not fine." She was just getting warmed up. "This is it, I'm done with her. I keep trying and trying, but nothing I do or choose or want is ever good enough."

"You don't mean that," he said, as they passed the Stars Hollow sign.

"I do mean it," she answered vehemently. "I'm done with her." They were quiet until Luke pulled up in her driveway. He sat back against the seat, his hands still at 10 and 2.

"You weren't just saying that, before, were you?"

"Saying what? I said a lot of stuff just now."

"That you'll marry me."

"What? Luke, no." She reached out to squeeze his thigh. "I want to marry you." When he looked up at her, she was smiling. The heaviness that had been pushing against his chest ever since the confrontation with Christopher dissipated. He let out a relieved chuckle, and reached for her. They met in the middle with a sweet kiss. "Take me to bed, fiancé of mine," she said, waggling her eyebrows at him.

Later that night, they were laying on her bed, sheets twisted around them, naked and sated. Lorelai propped herself up on her elbow, looking at him. "So I guess we should have that discussion now, then."

"Which discussion is that?" he asked, thinking this was probably leading up to one of her bits.

"Well, I know you think 4 in 4 is crazy, but what about 1 in 4?" His eyes widened. Not what he was expecting.

"Uh, sure," he said, bewildered.

"2 in 4?"

"Oh, I don't know…"

"How about we start with one and see how we feel?"

He pulled her closer, nuzzling her neck. "Works for me."

"Should we start practicing? You know, make sure that when the time comes, we know what to do?" He rolled on top of her in one swift move, and claimed her lips in a kiss. "I'll take that as a yes," she murmured.


	8. Why Does It Always Rain on Me?

"So Luke asked me to marry him tonight," Lorelai said conversationally, as she and Rory walked through Stars Hollow in the inky darkness. The garment bag containing their party dresses swished as they walked back home.

"Oh yeah? It's about time," her daughter answered.

"Wait, what?" Lorelai stopped suddenly, causing Rory to bump into her. "What does that mean?"

"Oh, Mom, come on. You know he has a thing for you."

"Uh, come again? It was a joke, Rory. He was _joking_."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. Can you imagine? Luke would rather cut off his own arm than be joined in holy matrimony to me."

"If you say so," Rory said, giving her mother a placating look.

Lorelai's jaw dropped. She shook her head in disbelief, then continued, "Besides, didn't you say I couldn't date Luke?"

"Right, because dating implies something temporary. Marriage is different, more permanent. Less likely to lose our food and coffee source that way. You can marry Luke, I give my blessing."

Lorelai snorted, and then turned the topic to the upcoming birthday parties for the rest of the walk.

* * *

 _I can't sleep tonight_

 _Everybody's saying everything is alright_

* * *

Sunday morning dawned gloomy and wet, and she knew nothing would pick up her spirits like some coffee and pancakes. After trying and failing to pry Rory away from her homework - "I've been busy all weekend with parties and I haven't had a chance to get any done!" - she grabbed an umbrella and hopped into the Jeep.

It wasn't only the weather that was the cause of her mood. It was partially her mother's fault. After her insinuations about porterhouse steaks and lap dances at Rory's party the night before, it was inevitable that she'd have a sexy dream about Luke. She didn't even remember the dream exactly, but she woke up feeling slightly off balance. So that, compounded with the rain and grey skies, left her in need of carbs and caffeine.

As she neared the diner, a figure in the middle of the street caught her attention. Luke was standing in the pouring rain, soaking wet, waving his arms and pointing at Taylor, who was hovering in the doorway of Doose's Market. Normally, she'd be dying to know what Taylor had done to inspire one of Luke's rages, but she was distracted. For some reason, Luke wasn't wearing his customary flannel, and his plain white t-shirt clung to his body like some kind of Calvin Klein underwear commercial. She could see all the hard planes of his back, and when he turned to stalk back into the diner, she saw evidence of a formidable six-pack. Her pulse quickened, and she began to have a hard time breathing.

Without pausing a moment, she decided something from Weston's would hit the spot more, and stomped on the gas.

* * *

 _I got my mind on something else_

* * *

Days later, Lorelai was flipping through the latest issue of Cosmo when her eyes landed on an article that seemed to jump out and scream at her: "I'm Having Fantasies About My Male Best Friend". Her eyes scanned the text of the article, and she began to feel slightly uncomfortable. It was all of this talk from Rory and her mother, putting these ideas in her head. Maybe she should call Max for that date after all. Her cell phone rang, and was glad to see Sookie's name on the caller ID, hoping a good vent to her friend would set her mind straight.

"I need to get laid!" she cried, tossing the magazine onto the coffee table. There was silence on the other end. "Sookie?" she repeated.

"This… isn't Sookie," a deep voice replied hesitantly.

"Luke!" she gasped. "Oh my god! Oh my _god_!" She flipped the phone shut, hanging up on him. She wanted to crawl into a hole and die. The phone, still clutched tightly in her hands, rang again. Taking a deep breath, she flipped the phone back open. "Hello?" she ventured meekly.

"Hi. I, uh, called to ask if you would mind going to the diner and grabbing my tool box." Despite the _dirty_ that was begging to be said, Lorelai was too mortified to make the joke. "I'm… trying to fix Sookie's kitchen sink," he explained.

"Sure, I'll be, ah, right there. With the toolbox." She cringed.

"Thanks," he replied. He sounded normal. Why did he sound so normal? Lorelai huffed silently after they hung up. Well, if he was going to act like everything was fine, so was she, she decided, grabbing her coat and heading toward the diner.

* * *

 _Why does it always rain on me?_

* * *

Luke was leaning over Sookie's sink with a towel in his hand when she arrived, groaning from the weight of the tool box. He took it from her, setting it on the kitchen counter and digging around until he found what he was looking for. He knelt down and crawled into the lower cabinets, without saying a word or looking directly at Lorelai.

She fidgeted a moment before daring to break the silence. "So, what I said earlier, I was just, ah, joking. Sookie and me, we do that."

"I figured," he said, his voice muffled from under the sink.

"I just didn't want you to think that, um, well, I don't know what I didn't want you to think." She ran her hands through her hair. "I just haven't dated anyone in awhile, and I was feeling a little frustrated, and… "

"Lorelai, you really don't have to -" Suddenly, a spray of water hit Luke in the face, and he sputtered, dropping the tool that he had in his hand. He wrapped his hand around the leak, trying to slow the flow of water. "Should have turned the water off first," he grumbled to himself. "Hold this together while I tighten it back up."

"Who, me?"

"Do you see anyone else here?" She rolled her eyes, but bent down to crawl under the sink beside him. She went to wrap her hands around the pipe, but when he let go, the water sprayed again, soaking them both. It took a moment before she was able to stop the gushing, but not before her t-shirt was drenched and clinging to her body. Luke deftly tightened where the pipe had loosened, and then leaned back onto his heels, grabbing the towel and wiping his face.

After Lorelai stood up, he handed her the towel. They were both soaked from the waist up. Lorelai could see the outline of Luke's chest through his shirt, just as she had the day before, and she could only imagine what sort of show he was getting. Her heart started pounding and she could feel her face flush. They stared at each other a moment. Her eyes flicked to his crotch, but he didn't appear to be having any kind of reaction.

"How are you acting so calm?" she blurted out, feeling slightly offended. Glancing down, she could clearly see the outline of her bra through her shirt, and even the slight peaks of her hardened nipples. "This is a quality wet t-shirt show here," she complained. "Am I that unattractive? No reaction, none whatsoever!"

A wry smirk spread across his face. "I guess that's the benefit of being doused by cold water."

"Oh?" she asked, slightly mollified.

He rolled his eyes. "Lorelai, I'd have to be dead to not find you attractive."

She grinned. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." He shook his head, and stood up. "I'm going to dig through Sookie's stuff to find something to wear home. It's too damn cold to walk home like this." Lorelai followed him into the master bedroom.

"So, you think I'm attractive and you want to marry me, huh?" she teased.

"Not here, Lorelai," he groaned.

"What, are you afraid you can't control yourself around me?" She was just teasing. But the look on his face when he met her eyes said it all. "Oh," was all she could say. He grabbed some clothes and went into the adjoining bathroom. Lorelai felt her heart hammering against her ribcage and blood rushing in her ears. All of a sudden, she understood why her mother had said he looked at her like he wanted a lap dance. The look she had just seen in his eyes made her feel like he wanted to ravish her.

Standing in the doorway of the bathroom, she watched him pull on an old t-shirt on over his head. She was starting to shiver from the wet shirt plastered to her body, but it hardly registered. "Luke," she said, in hardly louder than a whisper. He looked up, and noticed her trembling.

"You need to get warmed up," he said, looking concerned. He grabbed a fluffy bath towel from the shelf to his left, and wrapped it around her like a cape.

She could hardly breathe, being this close to him, after his silent admission. She reached a hand out to rest against his stubbled cheek. "Luke," she said again. She leaned forward, and made the slightest contact with his lips. When she pulled away, his eyes were closed, and he looked like he was trying very hard to maintain his composure.

"Say something," she whispered.

"I can't," he whispered back. She reached for him again, but he opened his eyes, and stepped back. "This isn't just to scratch an itch, is it? Me and you, this is more than that to me."

She stepped forward, dropping the towel to the floor. "This is everything to me," she said. "I can't get you out of my head."

She lunged toward him, crashing their lips together. He stumbled backwards from the surprise, and fell into the bathtub. Lorelai tried to gain purchase on the wall, but accidentally turned the shower on. They coughed and spluttered from the shock of water spraying them again, Luke laying on the floor of the tub with his legs hanging out, and Lorelai half-standing, half-crouched over him. The towel was in a forgotten heap on the bathroom floor, and her shirt was reaching new degrees of transparency. His eyes drank in her torso, clearly visible through the wet fabric.

Lorelai reached behind her to shut of the water and slipped against the tile, falling on top of him. They were soaking wet again and neither could gain any purchase on the slippery surfaces. "This is nuts. What if Sookie walks in?" Luke asked worriedly. "Because once we start I don't think I can stop."

"Never stop," she breathed. "God, I want this."

"Damn it to hell," he said, then went for her. He yanked her t-shirt over her head and began to run his tongue all over her wet skin, lapping up the tepid water. She moaned, reaching for the buckle of his jeans.

* * *

 _I get the strangest feeling_

 _You belong_

* * *

Wet clothes were removed as quickly as possible. Luke sat up, pulling his own shirt off over his head, and Lorelai stood to peel off her jeans, which were tighter than normal when drenched. Lorelai kneeled before him, completely bare, and he pulled her onto his lap. She sank onto him with a sigh, and he pushed a tangle of wet hair out of her face. They moved together with soft kisses, and cried out as they hit their peaks. As their breathing returned to normal, they held each other in silence for several moments, both trying to get their heads around this change in their relationship. Luke was the first to break the silence.

"We should get out of here before Sookie comes home," he said wryly.

With a groan, Lorelai lifted herself off of him, and looked around the bathroom until she found what she was looking for. "Ah, ha!" she cried, and grabbed two fluffy robes from a hook by the door. Luke looked at her questioningly. "We'll toss our clothes in the dryer, and wait for them to dry."

"That won't look suspicious if Sookie comes home," he muttered sarcastically.

"We'll just tell her about the sink exploding, it'll be fine."

* * *

 _Is it because I lied when I was seventeen?_

* * *

As they stood in Sookie's tiny laundry room, wrapped in robes, Lorelai looked over at Luke. "So what were you and Taylor fighting about yesterday?"

He looked at her curiously. "How did you know about that? I didn't see you yesterday."

"Oh, uh, well, I was on my way to the diner when I saw you outside, but I changed my mind and went to Weston's instead."

"Why did you go to Weston's?"

She blushed. "I wasn't certain I could keep my hands off you."

"Why wouldn't you be able to keep your hands off me?"

"Well, you were standing in the street, soaking wet, and I could see all the goods you've been hiding." He smirked, moving closer to her. "Hey, now, no more funny business!" He snaked a hand between the opening of the robe and she gasped. "Tell me about Taylor," she demanded, trying to resist his advances.

He let his arm drop to his side. "Well, that'll kill the mood," he groused.

"Mission accomplished," she said, lifting herself to sit on top of the dryer. He stepped between her legs.

"Well, when I was 17, I wasn't the responsible business owner that I am now."

"Yeah?" she said, her eyes lighting up. He rolled his eyes.

"So, I played this prank on Taylor. You know, he was always the way he is now, taking over and with a stick up his butt. So I just wanted to take him down a few pegs."

"Right, right," she said, urging him on.

"So one night a couple of friends and I decided to break into the market and cover the floor with cheap school glue. It took a few hours. And then I went home and called him, pretending to be panicked that there was a fire at Doose's."

"Oh my god!" she crowed, bouncing up and down on her seat a little. "This is fantastic!"

He pretended to sigh wearily, but she could see the smile dancing in his eyes. "So, of course he came barrelling into the market and slipped on all the glue. And it was a huge mess and his movements got slower as the glue dried, and yeah. Anyway, I need to get this new permit that Taylor just invented expressly to piss me off and he threw this whole mess back in my face. Apparently, I need to fill out more paperwork because I have a record. For something that happened almost 20 years ago!"

"A record? Luke Danes!"

He rolled his eyes again. "It's seriously nothing. Less than nothing. I did like 50 hours of community service because, as you know, Taylor is the type to press charges. Anyway, the moral here is that I was a horrible, horrible kid and please don't tell Rory this story."

"Scout's honor," she replied with mock seriousness, holding her hand over her heart.

"You weren't a scout," he replied.

"I'll have you know that I was, for about five minutes before I got kicked out."

"Your mother let you be a girl scout?"

She shrugged. "It looks good on college applications. Besides, it was a posh chapter. No camping in dirty woods, only resorts."

"But you got kicked out?"

"Not for any pranks as deliciously bad as yours," she said, leaning forward to kiss him.

"Well, now I need to go through a bunch of unnecessary paperwork."

"Maybe I can help," she suggested. He leaned forward, wrapping his arms around her.

"Just make sure I don't kill Taylor. That is a record I don't think I can paperwork my way out of."

"You got it," she replied, laughing.


	9. My Honey's Lovin' Arms

At first, Lorelai thought she was just working too hard. But when Sookie called to let her know she wouldn't be at work that day and expressed her worry over Davey's high fever, she began to put two and two together. During her lunch with the Belleville family at Luke's a week ago, she'd been unable to resist smooching all over those chubby baby cheeks. Her first reaction was to ignore the uncharacteristic sluggishness. For a few days, she walked around the unfinished Dragonfly Inn, answering Tom's questions and trying to pretend she was fine. But when she almost lost her balance while standing still, she knew she ought to go home and get some rest.

As she drove back to her house, the stress that she had been under during the past several weeks compounded. The last minute details for the Dragonfly, her mom currently moved into a hotel room, and the dissolution of her relationship with Jason all battled for supremacy. She cursed herself for drinking that giant bottle of vodka at Jason's apartment. It couldn't have been great for her immune system, already compromised by stress and poor sleep. Her head pounded like a timpani. Her body ached all over and, once she stumbled through her front door, she didn't even have the energy to climb the stairs. She collapsed on the couch, pulling down the afghan draped over the back to cover herself.

When Rory walked inside the house hours later, she immediately saw her mother curled up under a blanket on the couch, her face pressed into a cushion. "Mom, are you okay?" she asked worriedly, peering down at the Lorelai-shaped lump.

"Huh?" came the muffled reply.

"I've been calling and calling, and you haven't answered. I finally got ahold of Sookie and she said you were sick."

"Oh, yeah. Sick," Lorelai mumbled, lifting the blanket over her head. Rory searched blindly underneath the covering and felt her mother's forehead. She gasped.

"Oh my god, Mom, you're burning up!" She tried to tug her mother off the couch, but Lorelai rolled onto the floor. "Can you stand?" she fretted. "Because I can't lift you."

"Unnhhh," she heard her mother groan from underneath the blanket. Rory stood up and looked around wildly, her eyes falling to the phone.

"Should I call Jason?" she asked, picking up the receiver.

"Broke up," her mother replied listlessly, not moving from where she fell between the couch and the coffee table.

"Oh, I'm… sorry," Rory said haltingly.

"Don't be," returned the disembodied voice.

"Well, I need someone strong enough to carry you up the stairs," she said, holding the phone in two hands, trying to think.

"Fabio?" _Even when sick, the quips keep coming_ , thought Rory. She tried to think of all the people who could help, who would be strong enough to lift her mother up the stairs. Only one suitable person came to mind.

"I'll call Luke," she said decisively.

* * *

 _I love your lovin' arms,_

 _They hold a world of charms,_

 _A place to nestle when I am lonely._

* * *

Luke lifted her like she weighed nothing, and carried up her up the stairs. He wasn't used to such a silent Lorelai, but aside from a few pathetic sounding grunts, she wasn't saying a word. He settled her on the bed, still wearing the dressy blouse and pencil skirt she had worn to the Inn, and pulled a sheet up over her.

"Where are the babies?" she mumbled, eyes still closed.

"What babies?" he asked, bending down closer to her.

Her eyes snapped open. She looked straight at him, panicked. "Our babies!" she cried. "Our twins, Leopold and Loeb! Where are they?" She reached out and grabbed his shirt in her fists and he could see she was frantic.

 _Twins. Dream. She must be dreaming_. "Uh, I fed them dinner and put them to bed, they're fine."

She instantly relaxed her grip on his shirt and fell back onto the pillow, eyes closing again. "You're such a good daddy, Luke," she breathed. He felt an unexpected twinge of some unnamed feeling in his gut. But nothing could prepare him for the next words out of her mouth. As he bent down to stroke her hair, she whispered, "Love you."

He froze. Then, before he realized what he was saying, he replied, his voice thick, "I love you, too." He pushed a few stray hairs out of her face, and left the room.

As he descended the stairs, Rory was pacing. "What happened? I heard yelling," she said, and he could tell she was worried by the pensive twist of her mouth.

"Uh, she was dreaming that she had twins, and she just wanted to know her babies were okay," he said. He stood in front of her at the bottom of the stairs, staring at his shoes, wondering if he should start preparing some soup or just get the hell out of there.

"Twins?" she asked. He looked up at her, and he saw her eyes were narrowed. "She ever tell you about her twin dream?"

He blushed a little. "Uh, yeah, she mentioned it."

"So you know that you, uh…" She waved her arm to gesture toward him. Obviously, Lorelai had also told Rory about her dream with the alarm clocks and the twins and the decaf.

He let out a deep breath, his gaze falling back to the floor. "Yeah, I know."

She reached out to touch his arm briefly. He looked up, and saw her worried expression change to sympathy. "Are you okay? You seem… sad."

"I'm fine," he replied firmly, holding out his palms. "Really."

"Are you sure?" she asked, tilting her head slightly.

He began to feel a little unnerved. "She's delirious with fever," he said, waving away her concerned look. "It means nothing."

"Luke," Rory said softly, and in that moment she was the spitting image of her mother. He felt the walls closing in around him.

"I'm going to get some food at Doose's," he said, practically sprinting for the door. "I'll make your mom some soup. And I'll get some kind of fever reducer. I'll be back soon." He paused before turning the doorknob. "If she gets worse, don't wait for me. Call 911."

"Okay."

"And go keep an eye on her. Make sure she doesn't stop breathing or whatever happens to people with high fevers."

"I'll watch her, Luke. We'll be fine."

He nodded, then walked out the door. The entire drive to Doose's, he replayed the conversation over and over. It made his heart ache. He'd always been attracted to her, but he'd never really admitted to anyone, not even himself, how deeply he cared about his friend. Telling her that he loved her had slipped out so easily, and it left him feeling shaken.

* * *

 _'Cause when the world seems wrong,_

 _Then I know that I belong_

 _Right in my honey's lovin' arms._

* * *

The ambulance was already there by the time he came back, and he vaulted himself out of the truck cab before he even knew he was moving. "Rory!" he yelled, looking around at the few people gathered on the front lawn. He spotted her standing at the bottom of the porch steps, hugging herself tightly. "Rory," he said, resting a hand on her shoulder. "Where is she?"

Rory pointed to the ambulance, where the paramedics were hoisting the gurney into the waiting vehicle. Lorelai was laying on it, her face pale and an IV connected to her arm. "She just started shaking uncontrollably, and I didn't know what to do," she confessed.

"You did the right thing," he said reassuringly. "You go with her and call me if anything changes. I'm going to put this stuff away and follow you in my truck." Rory nodded, looking so much like the little girl he remembered from years before. She walked over to the paramedic and spoke to him, then climbed in the back of the ambulance alongside her mother. Luke watched them pull out of the driveway. The lights weren't flashing, which was a relief. If it wasn't that urgent, then she was probably going to be just fine. He hurried to put away the groceries he'd purchased, then began driving toward the hospital.

He was jogging down the hallway toward the receptionist desk when he heard his name being called. He turned his head down another hallway to see Rory waving her arms. He began heading in her direction, and as he got closer, she threw her arms around him. It was an unexpected but not unwelcome gesture, and he returned the hug with no reservations.

"She's just fine!" she said, squeezing him tightly. "The nurses think it was just a really bad flu or virus, so they're giving her fluids and getting the fever down."

"I'm glad," he replied, relief flooding him. "Is she awake yet?"

Rory stepped out of the hug and looked up at him, her countenance remarkably calmer than the last time he had seen her. "She was awake, but she's resting now. I just stepped out to get a snack from the vending machine. Did you want to see her?"

Luke placed his hands on his hips and looked down the hall, trying to think it over. He did want to see her. But he felt awkward about what she had said earlier. He glanced at Rory, who was giving him a puzzled look, when understanding swept over her features.

"Do you want to wait in the waiting room?" she asked. "I can get you when she wakes up again?"

"Yeah, let's do that," he answered, and let himself fall into a nearby chair. Rory nodded, then disappeared through a doorway.

* * *

 _One caress,_

 _Happiness_

 _Seems to bless my little honey._

* * *

"Luke?" Lorelai called, her eyes shut tightly, and her head rolling to the side. Rory was sitting by her hospital bed, holding her hand, as her mother awoke. Lorelai blinked her eyes open. "Rory?"

"It's me, Mom. Did you want Luke?"

"Huh?" she asked, furrowing her brow slightly.

"You just asked for Luke, when you were waking up."

"I did?" Lorelai struggled to sit up, but couldn't.

"Just relax, Mom, let me get the nurse."

She laid back down on the bed, waiting for the nurse to come in. Rory returned moments later with a middle-aged woman, dressed in scrubs with Hello Kitty printed all over them. Lorelai liked her immediately.

"Ms. Gilmore, it's about time you woke up!" she said warmly, quickly checking over the chart on the wall. "Alright, honey, do you know why you're here?" Lorelai shook her head. "You came in a few hours ago with a pretty high fever. I think we got 104?" She asked, looking at Rory, who confirmed it with a nod. "We brought your fever down and gave you some anti-viral. I think another bag of fluids and we'll let you go home. Sound good?"

"Sounds great, thanks," Lorelai said, smiling slightly.

"Don't thank me, thank your daughter for getting you here."

"It was Luke's idea," Rory said humbly.

"I'll make sure to thank him, then," Lorelai said, closing her eyes as the nurse adjusted the IV bag of fluids by the bed.

"He's in the waiting area," Rory said. "Want to thank him now?"

"Oh!" Lorelai gasped, attempting to pull herself up again.

"Relax," the nurse said, and then adjusted the bed so Lorelai was reclined upright.

When Rory returned with Luke, he stopped just inside the door to the room, hesitating. Lorelai waved him inside. "Come on in, don't be shy!" Rory gently pushed him toward the chair next to the bed, and he sat reluctantly.

He cleared his throat softly. "How are you feeling?" he asked, eyes darting up to hers briefly.

"Not great," she answered truthfully. "But much better than I was feeling earlier."

He nodded, staring at his hands. "When do you get released?"

She glanced over at the nurse, who was typing something into the terminal attached to the wall on the other side of the room. "In a few hours, I think," she replied.

"I'll drive you," he said, leaving no room for argument.

Lorelai smiled tiredly. "Okay," she said, leaning back against the bed.

* * *

 _When years have passed away,_

 _You'll find my love belongs to you only_

* * *

Several days later, Lorelai was looking inside the fridge, staring at the remains of the food that Luke had left for them. She was grateful, but it seemed odd to her that the few times that she had seen Luke since he'd driven her home from the hospital, he hadn't wanted to talk to her beyond asking if she was okay and taking her food order.

"Hey, Rory?" she asked suddenly, breaking the silence.

Rory looked up from her school work spread out on the kitchen table. "Yeah?"

"Did something happen with Luke?"

"Uh," Rory said, her gaze falling back to her books. "Why do you ask?"

"He seems, I don't know, preoccupied. Or shy. Or distant. Not like himself. He's barely looked me in the eye." Rory continued to look down, seemingly unwilling to answer the question.

"Rory?" Lorelai closed the fridge door and stared at her daughter, hands on hips.

She sighed deeply, then looked up at her mom. "You said something while you had that fever, and I think it affected him."

"Oh crap," Lorelai groaned. "What did I say? Something horrible?"

Rory took a deep breath. "Uh, you asked him where the twins were?"

"The twins?" Lorelai furrowed her brow. "What twins?"

"Yeah, you were very concerned about knowing where your babies were."

Suddenly she realized. "The twins. Oh my god. The dream!"

"Yeah."

"And I told him about that once." Lorelai started pacing around the small kitchen.

"Yeah."

"Oh god. Luke must think I'm nuts."

Rory paused before responding. "I think he was affected by it in a different way."

Lorelai stopped pacing. "What do you mean?"

"Well, when he came down the stairs, he looked… sad."

"Sad?" Lorelai asked, puzzled.

"Yeah." Mother and daughter looked at each other for a moment, then Lorelai dropped her head to her chest in defeat.

"Ugh," she grumbled. "I need to go talk to him, and fix this." She walked toward the foyer and grabbed a jacket. "I'll be back later!" she called behind her as she shut the door and began walking toward the diner.

* * *

 _When years have passed away,_

 _You'll find my love belongs to you only_

* * *

"We're closed," he said when he heard the bell jangle, not looking up from cleaning the coffee pot to see who had come in.

"I know. I came to see you." Luke's head snapped up to see Lorelai standing just inside the doorway, looking shy and reserved, a look that was not typical for her.

"What's wrong?" he asked, panic bubbling up inside of him. "Are you feeling okay? Is it Rory?"

"No, we're fine, just fine. Um, Rory told me that I said some things to you when I was delirious with fever, and I just wanted to know exactly what I said so we can put it behind us and get back to normal." She took a few tentative steps inside the diner.

Luke's lips pressed into a thin line. "Everything's fine, you don't need to explain."

"I think I do. You're avoiding me. And, well, I miss you," she said with a shrug. He puffed some air, then walked around the counter, gesturing for her to sit at a table. She sat carefully, folding her hands in her lap, and looked up at him, waiting for him to talk.

"Rory called me, she said you were sick and she couldn't move you off the floor. I carried you up to your room, put you in your bed, and you starting panicking, um, about… about your babies. You wanted to know where the babies were." He swallowed the lump in his throat, and sat across from her, laying his hands on the table between them. " _Our_ babies."

Lorelai closed her eyes tightly, feeling deeply embarrassed, but she didn't interrupt. "Uh, I didn't want you to stroke out or anything, so I told you I put them to bed." She smiled a little at this, and it gave him the courage to continue. "And then, um, you told me I was a good daddy."

Lorelai opened her eyes, and gave him a small smile. "I bet you would be a good daddy," she said softly. She rested a hand on top of his, and he stared at it. "Is that all of it?"

"Not exactly." He worked his jaw a moment, hoping there was another way to phrase what she said next, but not finding any words but the three she'd given him.

"I need to know, Luke," she whispered.

"You told me you loved me," he whispered back. Her lips parted in surprise, but no sounds came out. He pulled his hand out from under hers. "It's fine, I know you don't."

"You're right," she said, looking away. They felt silent, and she heard the noises from the kitchen equipment buzzing in the background, amplifying the space between them. Then so quietly that he almost didn't hear her, she murmured, "But I could."

He looked at her, but she was still looking away. "What?"

Finally, her eyes lifted to his. "I could. Love you. Someday."

"Lorelai," he breathed.

"I'm going to go," she said, standing up swiftly. "I don't know how, but I hope we can get past this."

He grabbed her arm before she could turn, and he stood up to face her. "I don't want to get past it," he said gruffly. She looked up in alarm. He tugged her closer. "I'm going to kiss you now," he said, "as a test."

"A test?"

"Yeah. If it's terrible, we'll go back to being friends. And if it's not, then…" He leaned forward, and their lips touched. The electricity between them sparked, and soon they were pressed tightly against each other, drowning. Lips parted and tongues met, and they clung to each other.

They broke apart. "It's not too late to go back," he said, panting slightly.

"I don't want to go back," she said, looking up into his eyes.

* * *

 _Then I know that I belong_

 _Right in my honey's lovin' arms._

* * *

"Shel, have you met Luke?" Lorelai grabbed the poultry supplier's hand and pulled him around to where Luke was crouched below the sink. "Hey, Luke!" she hissed, "Get up!" Luke got to his feet and eyed Lorelai warily. "Uh, Shel, this is Luke."

"Nice to meet you," Shel replied.

"Yeah, you too," Luke said with a smirk. Lorelai backed up into Luke, grabbing his hand tightly and wrapping it around her waist.

"Luke is my boyfriend," she said. The color drained out of Shel's face, and he backed away slightly.

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I just don't know what I would have done without him. I mean, he takes care of me and encouraged me to work toward my dream, and I just can't imagine my life without him." She looked up at Luke then, smiling softly. Luke hugged her slightly, and bent forward to kiss her temple.

"Well, it was nice meeting you both. I'm just gonna go say goodbye to Sookie," Shel said, quickly leaving the kitchen. Lorelai giggled.

"You need to tell Sookie now, so this stops," he said gruffly, pulling away.

"Oh, I will. I just needed to tell Rory first. I did that this morning, and now everyone can know." She stepped back into Luke's arms, pulling his face to hers. Just before their lips touched, she heard a loud bang.

"Oh my _god_!" they heard Sookie shout. Lorelai couldn't help but throw her head back and laugh.

* * *

 _A/N: I had the idea for this before I found the song. I knew I wanted it to be in the brief window between the break up with Jason and before Luke sees any faces, but unfortunately, the song that fit well was in the episode before that. So, I borrowed a couple tiny plot points from that (Lorelai drinking the vodka at Jason's and the lunch with Sookie, Jackson, and Davey) to fulfill my self-imposed restraints._

 _This story is dedicated to **IamStoopKid** , who long ago mentioned that they were a sucker for a sick Lorelai story. Hope you enjoy it! Also, many thanks to my beta **Skinfull** , who you can thank for an additional 500 words that weren't there before her suggestions._


	10. Lily-A-Passion

_A/N 1: This chapter takes place in the time from 422 through to 503, because Lily-A-Passion is in both episodes. The time jumps around and I played fast and loose with canon so the story would make sense. I also borrowed a lot of dialogue from the show, which I usually prefer not to do, but I didn't feel right making up my own dialogue for those scenes or writing around them. Enjoy!_

* * *

"Here they come!" Sookie cried excitedly, watching the three trolleys circle around the driveway of the Dragonfly Inn. Guests had begun to arrive for the test run, and Lorelai and Sookie stood among their entire staff to welcome them.

"Hi, everyone," Lorelai called out. "Welcome to the Dragonfly Inn!" People began milling all over the front of the property as they disembarked from the trolleys. Babette and Miss Patty wandered up to Lorelai as they took in the picturesque view.

"Oh, will you look at this place!" Miss Patty cried, hands clasped over her heart.

"This place is a paradise," gushed Babette. "Oh, Lorelai! The babies that are going to be conceived on this property!" Lorelai chuckled awkwardly and opened her mouth to respond, but before she could utter a word, Babette and Miss Patty had moved on to the horses. Taylor took the opportunity to begin his litany of critiques about the inn, and then things were off and running. As she became caught up in the flurry of checking in all their friends and family members, she continued to keep an eye out for Luke's arrival. She was a jangle of nerves and not entirely because she was worried about the success of the evening.

She had just finished checking in her parents when she finally spotted him. He walked in hesitantly, obviously looking around for someone. She left Rory at the front desk and walked up to him, smoothing her hair behind her ears. "Hey, hi," she greeted him nervously. "You came."

"Sure. I RSVP'd," he replied, looking slightly confused at her greeting. "Here, these are for you," he said, holding out a beautiful bouquet of red roses, lilies, and white carnations. "A little congratulations," he added, somewhat sheepish.

"Oh my God, they're beautiful," Lorelai said softly, taking the flowers. "Thank you." She was completely undone by the scent of the flowers and from Luke standing so close to her. "I was, um, well, okay, so, we should get you all, uh, checked in," she stammered. "And that's…" She turned toward the library, then abruptly spun on her heel after realizing she was facing the wrong direction. "Over there!"

"You okay?" Luke asked her, chuckling.

"Oh, God, yeah. Me? I'm totally fine!" she said, just as she turned toward the front desk and walked directly into one of the doors that Tom's construction crew were carrying toward the guest rooms upstairs. "Oh!" she said, as her face smacked against the heavy wood.

"Lorelai!" Luke exclaimed with concern, just as her head hit against the door a second time.

"Oh, God. Um, I'm fine. No problem." Lorelai shut her eyes tightly in embarrassment and motioned for Rory to come over with the room key.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Luke asked again, giving her a strange look. Lorelai felt her cheeks grow warm. She babbled something about doing a bit and having a theme for the inn, and then she handed him the key. With one last confused look, he began to climb the stairs. After he'd gone, Rory stood beside her, smirking.

"I've locked you in before, and I will do it again," she said to her daughter, before burying her face in the flowers and giggling. She walked away to put the flowers in her office, where she stared at them for several long moments. Luke brought her flowers. _Luke_ brought her _flowers_. If they weren't dating before, they certainly seemed to be heading in that direction.

* * *

 _Hey, shes a piratey soul_

 _Full a' vinegar and glitter_

* * *

She'd hoped that her clumsiness would be the worst of it, but the evening began to resemble a farce during the dinner hour. It started out well, as she made the rounds in the dining room and checked on everyone as they enjoyed their meals. So far, everything was going exactly the way they had planned. Feeling excited, Lorelai was on her way to her office to admire her pretty flowers again when she stopped short. Jason Stiles was standing in the middle of the foyer, looking around.

"What are you doing here?" she blurted, her happy mood deflating rapidly. She noticed he looked slightly less put together than normal, his clothes rumpled and his posture slouched.

"The place looks great," he replied, gesturing to the foyer of the Dragonfly.

She felt a surge of annoyance as he dodged her question. "Thank you," she said briskly. "What are you doing here?"

"We need to talk," he replied. As Lorelai attempted over and over to dissuade him from staying, repeating her disinterest in continuing their relationship, he continued to dig in his heels. Eventually, he walked over to the sitting area. "Oh, look! _Above Connecticut._ I've been looking for that." He grabbed the book and sat down. Lorelai sighed heavily and walked away, unable to deal with him at the moment.

Some time later, she brought him a plate of food. Jason tried to get her to sit down, but she brushed him off. As she walked toward the front desk, the door burst open.

"Lorelai Gilmore! Why would you _do_ that?!" her mother shouted at her. Lorelai winced from the harsh tone of Emily's voice.

"Do what?" she replied defensively.

"You stuck your father and me out in that godforsaken cabin!"

"It's the honeymoon suite," Lorelai tried to explain. But Emily kept going on about how awful everything was because she was stuck with nothing to do but stare at her husband all evening.

"Why would you want to get away from each other, Mom?" Lorelai asked facetiously. "Are you and Dad fighting?"

"Stop it! You know! You know your father and I are separated, and you brought us out here and stuck us in the woods to stare at each other for 48 hours!" They continued to argue back and forth for a few minutes until Emily stomped into the sitting area. She stopped short when she saw Jason. "Jason," she said, clearly shocked.

"Emily," he replied, standing. Then Richard walked in, and all four of them stood staring at each other a moment.

"Are you trying to kill us?" Richard asked finally.

"Oh my god," muttered Lorelai.

"I packed our things. I think it's time to go," Richard continued brusquely. Emily stood up. "I hope you've had your fun," he continued, directing his comment to Lorelai.

"Oh, yeah, it's been a blast," she said sarcastically. Lorelai watched her parents exit in a huff.

"Can I get their room?" Jason asked. Lorelai glared at him, and walked away.

For a while, she sat in her office, staring at the bouquet. She'd put them in a light blue vase that artfully showcased the flowers Luke had chosen. She wondered how he knew her so well. It was really the perfect Lorelai bouquet. Classy, with the roses and carnations, with just a touch of wild from the lilies. She felt a flutter in her chest as she realized she couldn't fight these emotions away anymore. Unless she was just jumping to conclusions, he was actively pursuing her. She'd been pursued by men before, but this was different. No one else had gotten everything so exactly right.

She stood up and sighed. It was getting late, and so it was probably time to head to bed. She hadn't seen Rory for an hour or so, and she wondered if she'd gone up to their room while she'd hidden away in her office. She stepped out and immediately saw Luke. She was still feeling fluttery and happy until he started talking angrily about intentions and being on the same page. When he mentioned her "boyfriend", she realized what had happened. She tried to get him to calm down and hear her explanation, but he walked to the front porch, like he was going to just up and leave.

"I don't want to calm down! I did everything right! I did exactly what the book said!" he spat.

Lorelai was confused. "The book?" she asked.

He ignored her question. He was in full rant mode. "I thought we were on track, and now you're standing there looking at me like I'm crazy."

"I'm not looking at you like you're crazy!" she cried.

"You know the last time I bought flowers for someone? Never! That's when! Very easy stat to remember!" he said, gesturing wildly.

"I loved the flowers!" she said, still trying to calm him.

"And then when I walked you home after the wedding, there was a moment. I thought there was a moment," he added, almost as if he were talking to himself.

"There was! There was a moment." That finally made Luke pause. He worked his jaw a moment, then he stepped closer. "What are you doing?" she asked, instinctively stepping backward.

"Will you just stand still?" he replied, and he pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her.

And then he kissed her, and the world stopped.

* * *

 _Hey, when your carnival rose_

 _Sows the kiss of belladonna_

* * *

"Will you just stand still?" Lorelai said softly, repeating the phrase he had just uttered. Her hand rested on his cheek. Their lips met again, and he wrapped his arms around her, holding her up as her knees weakened. They broke apart for air, leaving Lorelai stunned. She had no idea Luke Danes was capable of a kiss like that. He reached for her again, and she finally met his eyes.

"Wow," breathed Lorelai, blinking up at Luke.

He grinned shyly. "Yeah?"

But as he was tilting his head for a third kiss, they heard pounding feet and shrieking coming from the top of the stairs. They broke apart, and Kirk ran past them, naked as the day he was born, clutching a pillow in front of his groin. Luke gave her a desperate look, then back toward the direction Kirk had gone. He took off in a run, yelling over his shoulder, "I'll be right back! I'll explain later!"

Lorelai stood alone on the porch, wrapping her arms around herself tightly, a soft smile on her lips. Luke had kissed her! She stared in the direction that he'd run, the shock of it all gluing her feet to the floor. Who knew that the thing that would finally get Luke to actually kiss her would be jealousy, over _Jason_ of all people!

 _Jason,_ she remembered, panicking slightly. _He's still here!_ She went back inside, but didn't see him in the plush armchair he'd been warming all evening. His plate and wine glass were still there, and there was a photo essay book of Connecticut inns laying open. He must have gotten up to go explore or, heaven forbid, to look for her. She shuddered. She really didn't want to deal with him tonight. She looked around the reception area, and her gaze fell on the hook board behind the front desk. She noticed the keys for room 12 were still missing, so she assumed her parents had left them in the room.

After grabbing her master key, she took the path down to the cabin to tidy it up and pick up the keys. She opened the door slowly, still not entirely convinced that her parents had gone home. The room was indeed empty, their suitcases gone, and both keys placed neatly on the night stand. She picked them up, staring at the keys resting in her palm. _What a crazy night._

* * *

 _She is a canary royal_

 _Save the curse a' Desdamona_

* * *

She stepped back outside, and locked the door behind her. She shook the keys in her hand as she walked past the barn, and heard the soft whinny from a horse. Smiling, she changed course and walked over. Desdemona was peeking out around the stable opening, and she reached over to give her nose a friendly rub.

"Sorry, girl," she murmured softly. "I didn't bring you any treats tonight. I was just double-checking to see if the Gilmore family drama hour was all in my head." Desdemona snorted lightly. "I know, it's been a crazy night. I'm just waiting for the cross-dressing midgets, because _that_ is where this night is headed."

She continued to run her hand over the soft horse hair until she heard soft footsteps behind her. Her breath caught when she felt his hands land on the curve of her waist. "Where were we?" he whispered into her ear, and she felt shivers run up her spine. She turned to face him, reaching to link her arms behind his neck.

"Right about here," she whispered back, and they met again in another kiss. The passion between them escalated quickly, and Lorelai broke away, panting. "I have the keys to the private cabin," she gasped.

Luke swallowed, his own breathing labored. "Are you sure? Because I didn't-"

"I'm sure," she said, looking into his eyes intently. "Come on," she continued, pulling his hand so that he would follow her the short distance to room 12.

She stopped abruptly right in front of the door, and went to push her key into the lock, but Luke pressed his body up behind her and she dropped the key to the ground.

"Open the door," he muttered, sweeping aside her hair and sucking on her earlobe.

"Dropped it," she panted. He knelt down behind her, sliding his body against hers. He picked up the key and stood again, opening the door himself. They burst through it, and he kicked it shut, spinning her around to claim her lips again.

* * *

 _There ain't no takin' it slow_

 _For the avalanches daughter_

* * *

She clutched his sweater in her fists, her entire body throbbing with anticipation. His warm hands drifted under her shirt to caress her bare skin.

"I don't have anything," he murmured against her lips.

"I'm covered," she whispered back. She stepped back and lifted her shirt over her head, watching Luke to see his reaction. His gaze never wavered from her eyes. He pulled her back to him, kissing her soundly, letting his hands explore her body. She tugged at the sweater again, this time in an upward motion, and he pulled away only long enough to pull it over his head. Lorelai moaned at the feel of skin against skin, hot and smooth and firm.

He reached his hand behind her and unhooked her bra with one hand. Her lips curved in a smile against his, and she laughed. "Impressive," she whispered. He chuckled softly, beginning to trail kisses down her jaw to her neck, traveling to her pert breasts. She inhaled quickly as his tongue made contact with her sensitive peaks. She let her head fall back, enjoying the sensation of warm wet tongue and prickly stubble against her skin. She stumbled backward as his hand traveled underneath her skirt, and landed on the bed. She scooted backward, with Luke following her, his eyes dark with desire and longing. She gently pushed him to sit, and she straddled him, hands weaving into his hair and lips meeting again. His tongue swept across her bottom lip and she opened her mouth, moaning rapturously as their tongues collided.

Luke rolled them over so Lorelai was laying down and he hovered over her, kissing and nipping his way over her skin. She couldn't remember ever being kissed this well in her life.

"Hey, is Kirk okay?" she asked suddenly.

Luke looked up at her. "Seriously? You want to talk about Kirk _right now_?" He rolled off of her to lay on the bed next to her, staring at the ceiling in disbelief.

She laughed. "It's not as bad as you make it sound!" He lifted his eyebrow at her, then gestured to the two of them, half naked and sprawled on the bed. She turned over to her stomach and pushed herself up on her elbows. "I was thinking about how great of a kisser you are," she said, taking the tip of her finger to trace the outline of his lips, "then I remembered our amazing kisses on the porch, and how they were interrupted, and I just realized that you never mentioned what happened." She poked him in the chest. "You _did_ promise to explain."

"Didn't know I'd be doing it half naked," he grumbled, but he was smiling slightly. He looked back up at the ceiling, and waved his hand around. "He has night terrors. I found him in Taylor's rosebush, brought him back to the inn. He refused to go back up to his room, but Sookie came downstairs." He looked over at Lorelai, and grinned. "Kirk saw us."

Lorelai gasped in surprise. "How? Aren't you asleep during night terrors?"

Luke shrugged. "Don't know. Anyway, he mentioned it and Sookie started flipping out. She asked me what the hell I was doing with Kirk instead of you, and practically shoved me out the door."

"How did she know I was out here?"

"She called your room first, you weren't there. She mentioned that you sometimes like to come out to see the horses. She figured you were hiding from that other guy."

"Jason? Yeah, that's pretty much why I ended up out here." They smiled at each other. He reached out and twirled some of her hair around his finger.

"I didn't plan to end up here with you tonight. I would have waited."

"I know," she said, shrugging. "But I just can't take running into any more doors."

He pushed himself closer and kissed her. "Think this will cure you?"

"I'm willing to try it," she replied, breathless. "As many times as it takes."

* * *

 _Bright, bright, bright is the blush of her smile_

 _Like the apples a' Pomona_

* * *

Luke reluctantly left for Maine the day after the test run to help Liz and TJ recover from their car accident injuries. He had been gone for 6 weeks when she realized she was late. And not just a little late. Very late. A month late. Ironically, she didn't realize this by checking her calendar, but by reaching for an apple while working at the Dragonfly one afternoon.

She bit into the crunchy flesh and sighed. "God, this tastes good," she murmured, then suddenly her eyes widened. That's when she ran to her calendar and started counting. "Oh god, oh god," she repeated, as realization dawned. The last time an apple had tasted this good, she'd been pregnant with Rory. She made an excuse to leave early, and drove to a pharmacy in Woodbridge.

When she arrived home, she finished the rest of her apple juice and dug into the plastic bag for the two tests she'd purchased. She read the instructions, her hands shaking the entire time. After completing the task, she walked into her bedroom and paced for the requisite three minutes. After the timer beeped, she took a deep breath and read the results.

The first test had a double pink line. The second test was digital, and spelled it out clear as day - PREGNANT. _Well, hell_ , she thought. She was too shocked to cry. Instead, she went downstairs and ate another apple.

"But how… how did this happen?" Sookie asked the next morning, dumbfounded. The two women were in the Dragonfly's kitchen, Sookie chopping some vegetables and Lorelai staring at her cup of decaf sadly.

"Well," Lorelai began sarcastically, "when a man and a woman-"

"I know _how_ it happened," she interrupted. "But I thought you were on the pill? You've been on it forever."

"I was on the pill!" Lorelai exclaimed, throwing her arms up in the air. "I mean, I had just stopped seeing Jason, so I wasn't taking it at the _exact_ same time every day like I do when I'm seeing someone, and I usually insist on doubling up if there's spontaneous happenings, but I seriously thought that was just being paranoid."

"Evidently, you are extremely fertile."

"Evidently!" Lorelai slumped into her chair. "I just don't know what I'm going to do," she said sadly. She felt tears sting at her eyes. "What if he can't handle it? What if I'm doing this alone again?"

Sookie glanced over at her, noticing how bright and wet her eyes had become. "Lorelai, sweetie, I love you but you're being stupid."

"Huh?" Lorelai sniffled, looking up at her friend.

Sookie paused her chopping momentarily and gave her a stern glare. "You honestly think Luke would abandon his kid? Luke? Family means more to him than anything."

"But, jam hands freak him out. And it was only a week or so ago that he was totally wigged over Davey being in the diner, and he was being an angel!"

"Yeah, but who took in Jess when he needed to get straightened out? Who took care of a funeral for his jerk of an uncle? Who beat up Dean in the street because he broke Rory's heart?"

"Luke did," Lorelai said softly.

"Exactly," Sookie said firmly. "Luke. He is not going to abandon you, Lorelai. Besides, the man is crazy about you. I bet he'll be excited. You'll see."

"Yeah, maybe," Lorelai agreed halfheartedly, wiping a stray tear from her cheek.

"Besides, guys don't get all goo-goo over other people's babies. Do you think Jackson goes around snuggling other people's kids?"

"No." Lorelai giggled at the mental image.

"See? And he's a great dad. Luke will be, too. When does he get back?"

"He says next week, but he's said that for the last 5 weeks, so I don't know."

"Are you going to tell him over the phone, or…?"

"No, I'll tell him in person." She sniffed her cup of decaf, then set it back down without taking a sip. "God, this is going to be so hard."

"No!" Sookie practically yelled, slamming down the knife against the cutting board, and Lorelai jumped. "Sorry," she said sheepishly. "I just, god, Lorelai, I really think this is going to be fine. Really. And I want you to believe that. Okay?"

Lorelai nodded, then brought the cup to her lips. _Everything's going to be fine_ , she reminded herself.

* * *

 _She is a song of her own_

 _From down the wrong end of the river_

* * *

"Lorelai, this thing we're doing here - me, you - I just want you to know I'm in. I am _all_ in." He paused a moment. "Does that, uh - are you, uh, scared?"

She looked down, and smiled a little. Sookie had been right. Everything _was_ going to be just fine. How could she have doubted him? "Luke," she said softly. It was time, she had to tell him.

"Yeah?" he said, reaching to grab her hand.

She looked into his eyes, bracing herself for whatever was coming. "I'm pregnant."

"What?" His eyes widened, and he gripped her hand tighter. The fact that he was still sitting across from her and hadn't run out the door was a promising sign. "Mine?" he asked, although she could tell from the look in his eyes that he already knew the answer.

"Yours," she nodded.

"Wow, this is… this is unexpected." He looked at the table in front of her and spotted the champagne. "You can't drink that," he said. She'd only taken a tiny sip, but before she could blink, he'd grabbed it and downed her entire glass. He made a sour face, and she giggled a little, still anxiously awaiting his response. He looked at her again, and a small smile broke out on his face.

"We're having a baby," he whispered. He squeezed her hand.

"We're having a baby," she replied, squeezing back. A tear escaped and ran down her cheek, and he reached his other hand over to wipe it away.

"Not sad," he said, firmly. "Happy."

"Happy," she echoed.

"Wow," he said again, leaning back against the vinyl seat. "It was just that one night."

"That's all it takes," she replied, a knowing smile on her face. "I do recall it was more than one time though." He blushed, and she giggled.

"You said you were… covered," he said, looking at her curiously. "I thought that meant…?"

"Oh, it did," she replied. "But nothing but virginity is 100% sure. And even Mary found a way around that one."

He gave her an amused look, then squeezed her hand again. "So what's next?" he asked, and she looked puzzled. At that moment, the waitress appeared and set plates in front of them, then disappeared again.

Lorelai lifted a forkful of food to her mouth. "What do you mean? I have to go to the doctor and all of that. Have it confirmed. I only did the home tests."

"I mean, for us. Do we get married?" Lorelai choked a little on the bite she hadn't yet swallowed. "Because if that's what you want, I will," he added.

After swallowing, Lorelai looked at him carefully. "I know, but I don't want to get married just because of the baby."

"It wouldn't be just because of the baby," he replied, shaking his head. "I mean, that's where I see this going. Don't you?"

Lorelai's jaw dropped. "Really?" she asked, incredulously.

"What? I wouldn't have risked losing a wonderful 8 year friendship if I didn't think you were it for me." Lorelai felt tears prick her eyes again, and Luke misunderstood. "Hey, I'm sorry. Am I freaking you out?"

"No, no," Lorelai said, trying to wipe away the tears without smudging her makeup. "I just, I just, wow. I'm speechless. And the pregnancy hormones aren't helping."

Luke cupped her cheek and tilted her face toward her. "We'll take this as fast or slow as you want, okay? I'm here. For the long haul." Lorelai sniffled, but was smiling.

* * *

 _Wild, like the lily-a-passion_

 _Have you ever had the honors_

* * *

"I've got a surprise for you," Luke whispered to his daughter. She blinked up at him, one of the few times she'd opened her eyes at all since she'd been born 3 days prior. He walked over to her dresser, where Lorelai had displayed the colorful bouquet in a blue vase, tilting the baby so that the flowers were in her line of sight. She yawned, and he chuckled.

"Another easy stat to remember," he heard Lorelai say from the doorway, watching them.

"Yes," he agreed. "Only the second woman I've bought flowers for."

"Bet you didn't know then you'd be getting all this when you stopped by the florist."

"Some things are too amazing to imagine," he replied. She rolled her eyes at his cheesy reply. He looked back at his little girl, completely besotted. Her eyes had closed and her tiny hand was curled in a fist. "Beautiful Lily Danes," he murmured, kissing her sweet face and inhaling her powdery baby scent. Gently, he set her down into the crib, and watched her a moment. Lorelai sidled up next to him, and he slipped his arm around her waist.

"When are you going to make an honest man out of me?" he murmured into her hair.

"Once I can fit into my regular clothes again," she whispered back.

"I'm going to hold you to that," he replied, squeezing her tightly.

* * *

 _A/N 2: I just recently mentioned on Tumblr that I hate accidental pregnancy stories, and then when I was struggling with this story the "apples of Pomona" line came to me and well, I couldn't stop myself. I hope you will all forgive me._


	11. Thanks For Christmas

My contribution to the A Gilmore Christmas Advent Calendar by alspancakeworld on Tumblr.

In memory of my own late father. 1949-2005.

Not the daughter you wanted. Not the father I needed. But we loved each other the best we could. Merry Christmas.

* * *

I've been in a crappy mood all day. Most people that frequent the diner would think that isn't unusual, since my tolerance for bullshit is generally hovering around non-existent. But today especially sucks, because it is two weeks until Christmas, both of my parents are in the ground, and my sister called this morning, right on schedule, begging for money. I give in, like I always do, because I want to make sure Jess has warm clothes and something to eat, and she swears to me that she'll take care of it. I don't know how many times I've threatened to call child protective services on her, but she tells me they're fine. I have to believe it, because the alternative makes me feel so much guilt I want to stab myself.

It's cold and snowing, and while I generally don't mind that aspect of winter, today it's just another tick in a long list of things I can't stand. I throw myself into work for the early dinner rush. I'm the only one working tonight. I don't expect it to be very busy because of the cold, not to mention more than half of the town is doing a variety of Christmas-themed activities, from the annoying bell ringing idiots to the insane Christmas pageant people.

* * *

 _Thanks for Christmas_

* * *

I'm taking care of some tables by the window when I notice that Lorelai has walked in, stirring feelings of elation and irritation inside of me simultaneously. I'm always happy to see her, but then, it hasn't been that long since I saw her down the street, kissing some guy that looked like he had a giant stick up his ass. I know that she doesn't owe me anything. I haven't given her any indication we have more than a diner-customer-and-sometimes-friend relationship. I feel guilty for being irritated that she might be seeing someone, and the whole self-loathing cycle just grinds into my already sour mood. I'm walking back from the tables by the window with the coffee pot, already anticipating from the look on her face that she needs some.

"Rory coming?" I ask, pouring the coffee, hoping she'll say yes, because it will give me more to focus on than just her.

"No," she says shortly.

My mood is downgraded into suspicious concern. "She on a date?" I ask, sensing her displeasure at wherever Rory is.

"No," Lorelai says, and I am increasingly worried about the lack of words pouring out of her mouth. Typically, she walks in with her lips flapping and it takes me a good 30 seconds for my brain to catch up.

"Good," I say, trying to get her to open up a little. "So you've forbid her to see the bag boy."

"I'd really rather not talk about it right now," she says wearily.

"Just tell me you forbid her to see the bag boy."

"I did not forbid her to see the bag boy," she replies.

"Are you crazy?" I demand, only exaggerating a little. Rory has dreams of Harvard and I can tell that kid barely dreams of Jeannie.

"Well, he looks like he's moving up to produce, so he's suddenly become quite a catch," she says sarcastically. Finally, I'd managed to crack open her monosyllabic shell. _God, the work._

"That kid is trouble," I reply instead.

"Can I order please?" Lorelai asks, sounding frustrated.

I'm not ready to let her retreat just yet. "First time I looked at him, I thought he was trouble," I declare, and she rolls her eyes at me.

" _Excuse_ me?" she says, "I'm the one who told you I thought he was trouble, and you told me you thought I was crazy."

I nod. "You are crazy. And he is trouble."

"He is not trouble!" she cries, tossing her hands up. "He's 6'2", he's beautiful, and he's completely in love with my daughter."

"Trouble," I repeat.

There's a beat where she kind of sags a little in defeat. "Big time," she agrees, sighing.

Figuring it's time to let up a bit, I nod. "I'll get your burger," I say, and start to turn toward the kitchen.

"Wait," she says, and I stop mid step, turning toward her again. "Can I see a menu?" she asks.

"You need to see a menu?" I ask in disbelief.

"Yes." She nods decisively.

"You come here everyday," I protest. Day in, day out, she and Rory order the same things practically on a schedule.

"I know, but I usually order the same thing, and tonight I'm in the mood for something a little different."

"A menu?" I repeat, incredulous.

"Piece of paper, list of food offered." The sarcasm is back, and I feel victorious for distracting her from her somber mood.

"Okay. Here." I hand her a menu, and she stares at it, as if not even seeing anything. "It's not in Japanese," I say impatiently.

She looks up at me. "Don't you have any kind of holiday special? Something festive?"

I never order anything special because it's just going to end up spoiling and hurting my margins. This town doesn't exactly have refined tastes. "I just got some Grey Poupon," I offer, "It's French."

"Tonight's my parents' big Christmas celebration," she says wistfully, and I know she's finally confessing to the reason behind her charming mood. "There's good food, these _amazing_ apple tarts, big tree. It's the only holiday I actually enjoy going over there for and this year, I'm uninvited."

"Why the hell would anyone celebrate Christmas two weeks early?" I say immediately, and she looks a little offended.

"Did you even hear the part about me being uninvited?" she asks, looking hurt.

"To your parents' fake Christmas party?" I say.

"Yes."

"I did hear that," I confirm.

"Do you care?"

 _Good god, Lorelai_ , I think to myself. "Obviously you do."

"Yes, I do, and I don't know why."

I sigh, feeling like I am being transported from my diner to the set of Cheers. "You liked going…" I start, waving my hand in circles, getting ready to psychoanalyze her once again. No wonder she's never gone to therapy. She has me.

"I did," she agrees.

"Rory's there without you…" I continue, suppressing the urge to roll my eyes.

She nods. "She is."

"You and Rory aren't getting along right now and you feel bad at being separated during a time you usually share together," I finish up, knowing I speak too much from experience. Although it's been so long since Liz and I have gotten along I've almost forgotten what that's like.

"Wow," she says, looking somewhat impressed.

"Did I mention you come here every damn day?" I look at her and she hands over the menu, still looking a little dejected.

"I'll have a burger," she says listlessly.

"Coming right up," I reply, and head to the kitchen.

I toss the beef patty onto the grill and grab the buns from the bag in the shelf above my head. I hate seeing Lorelai giving Charlie Brown a run for his money. I almost wish I _do_ have some kind of festive special to offer her, something that might cheer her up for a little while. But I don't even know what constitutes festive in a diner. Pancakes shaped like Rudolph? Burgers that look like Santa Claus? The moment I think it, the idea forms in my head and I groan as I reach for the cream cheese, because I know I am going to look like a complete idiot. Only Lorelai Gilmore could reduce me to becoming this sentimental schmuck. I hope she appreciates it.

* * *

 _Thank you for the love and happiness that's snowing down, all around_

* * *

I slide the plate in front of her, and her expression makes all of the inevitable mocking completely worth it. She is lit from within.

"What did you do?" she asks, sounding a mix of surprised and pleased.

"You wanted something festive," I reply gruffly.

"You made me a Santa burger," she points out.

"It's no big deal," I insist, waving a hand dismissively.

"He has a hat and everything," she says, giving me the first genuine smile I've seen on her all night.

"Yeah, I just cut a piece of wonder bread, you know, poured a little ketchup, piped on a little cream cheese." I wave my hand again, trying to downplay it, but I'm secretly pleased my lame attempt at festive holiday cheer has made her smile this brightly.

"No one has ever made me something quite this disgusting before. I thank you." She smiles again, and admires her burger for a moment.

I'm surprised that she doesn't begin to mock me mercilessly, so I just mutter a quick "You're welcome." Her phone rings, and in order to balance out the Norman Rockwell moment, I point emphatically to the No Cell Phones sign.

"What?" she gasps, incredulous.

"Outside," I bark.

"Are you kidding? It's like the North Pole out there," she says, lifting up her coat on the stool beside her to locate her bag.

"Hey, this sign isn't just a decoration," I say.

"Honey, nothing in here is a decoration," she says irritably, bringing to mind all of the times she's tried to convince me to update the decor in here.

"It disturbs the other customers," I reply.

"Oh, really?" she says sarcastically. "Maybe we should take a vote." Lorelai raises her voice to address everyone else in the diner. "Who thinks we shouldn't use cell phones in here?" Nearly everyone in the diner raises their hands. I don't bother to tell her that my early dinner crowd is made up almost entirely of Blue Plate Specials, I merely enjoy the shocked look on her face. "Well, screw democracy," she grumbles. The phone goes silent and she huffs. "Perfect, now I have to check my voice mail."

Before I can reply, a bunch of lunatics burst into my diner, singing loudly, and momentarily distracting me from Lorelai and her lack of phone etiquette. They are led by Taylor Doose, another eventuality that I've come to expect. Any loud, unwelcome intrusion into my diner is almost always his doing.

"Whoa, what's going on?" I ask, even though I don't think I want to know.

"Well, we were caroling around town and we got a bit chilly, and we thought maybe we could trade you a song for some hot chocolate," he says magnanimously.

"You want free hot chocolate?" I ask, irritatedly cutting to the chase.

"No, no, we'll sing for it, any tune you like," he says, his chest still puffed out like he was offering me a favor. Like hearing Taylor warble Silent Night could ever be valuable in an exchange of goods and services.

I cross my arms in front of me. "And then I give you free hot chocolate," I say again, and he deflates a little.

"Yeah," Taylor admits.

"Tell you what, you can have your hot chocolate, and pay for it, then go next door and sing for the marshmallows," I reply flippantly, knowing full well that Taylor would never accept minstrels in his own place of business.

"Oh my god!" Lorelai gasps, and suddenly Taylor's presence is gone from my radar. Lorelai's hand is pressed to her mouth, and I know whatever message she just got on her voicemail wasn't a happy one. Panic bubbles within me, as I begin to imagine all the horrible things that could have happened on the icy highway with Rory driving the Jeep alone. I just put snow tires on it and checked the oil, so I know that it's at least drivable, but it only takes one jackass on the road to cause an accident.

"These are your neighbors, Luke!" Taylor continues scolding, but I've already turned away from him.

"Shut up, Taylor," I snap. "What's going on?" I ask Lorelai. She still looks stricken.

"My father's in the hospital," she says weakly, and my heart falls to my stomach.

"What?" I ask, trying to get a sense of how serious it is. I blink back some incredibly vivid flashbacks, trying to keep my focus on her and not on fathers and hospitals and all that entails.

"Yeah, he collapsed or something. I don't know. I need a cab. I need to call a cab. Where's the phone? I need— Can anyone give me—" She looks down. "I'm holding a phone."

"Whoa, calm down," I say, knowing immediately it's the wrong thing to say but seeing Lorelai like this is freaking me out. Her jacket falls to the floor and I bend to pick it up.

"No, I can't calm down," she begins to babble, clearly losing it. "I need a cab. What's the number? God, it's something-cabs, cabs-something-something. 1-800-cabs? Can somebody tell me the damn number of the cab guy?" she yells, nearly hysterical.

"I'll drive you," I say decisively, and although she visibly relaxes a bit, she tries to refuse.

"But there's food and there's people and there's a burger with a face…"

She hasn't even finished talking before I've turned to face everyone else in the diner. "Okay, everybody out!" I start shouting. "We're closed, let's go. Food's on me." I turn to Lorelai. "Put on your coat and get your stuff." I shove the keys into Taylor's chest, and he stares at me, baffled and speechless for once. "Taylor, have your hot chocolate then lock up." I gesture to Lorelai, still standing there, looking lost. "Come on, my truck's out back."

"Luke, I'm—" she says, unable to finish her thought. I know what's she's thinking. She's scared, hopeful, nervous, and worried, but she can't vocalize all the myriad emotions roiling around inside of her. But I know, I've see that look in the mirror too many times not to recognize it.

"I know," I say. "Let's go."

* * *

 _Thank you for the winter friendliness that's snowing down, all around the world_

* * *

We're silent as we begin driving toward Hartford. She listens to the message several times, and even makes me listen to it. _Grandpa's in the hospital, please come,_ Rory's voice says shakily over the crackly reception. Her voice on the message sounds far away, but I know it's just that she's trying to keep her voice steady for her mom. My comprehensive knowledge of the Gilmore girls comes from not only seeing them every damn day in my diner, but from being roped in to their frequent shenanigans.

The first time I met Lorelai, she annoyed me. Of course I noticed that she was beautiful, but on the heels of another one of Rachel's departures, it irritated rather than titillated. Of course this _woman_ , with cascades of brown curls, bright red lips, and piercing blue eyes, thought that because she talked fast and flipped her hair, she could get whatever she wanted from me. Whatever assumptions I made about her, however, disappeared the moment she thrust that crumpled piece of newspaper at me. It made me smile despite myself. I didn't even really expect to see her again, but again she came, a smaller version of herself in tow.

Gradually, we became somewhat friendly. She would ask questions that demanded responses, and unlike the usual small talk I was accustomed to with running the diner, she would ask these gently probing questions meant to draw me out of my shell. I pretended it was nothing, but she managed to get these tidbits out of me that I was amazed I'd divulged at all. At first, it made me resentful, but with each visit from these girls, I warmed to them more and more.

But I didn't fall in love with Lorelai until the first time I saw her vulnerability peek through. I don't know if she knew I was watching, but one time Rory's deadbeat father cancelled on them at the last minute, and I saw the wounded look in her eyes as she spoke to him over the phone. Minutes later, she stiffened her spine, pasted a warm smile on her face, and lied outright to Rory about why her father wasn't coming this time. But that look in her eyes, when she realized that once again she would have to bear the brunt of disappointment, captured me in a way that I didn't expect or want.

"Look!" Lorelai says, pointing at the cars passing us on the highway and jolting me out of my memory.

"Relax," I reply, keeping my hands firmly on the wheel and carefully maneuvering the truck on the roads. You never know when you'll hit a patch of black ice, and I don't want to be responsible for sending another Gilmore to the emergency room tonight.

"We're being passed by senior citizens," she whined.

"I'm going as fast as I can," I reply evenly.

"Bye, Grandma, bye," she says, waving her phone around.

"There's ice on the road," I remind her. "Those people aren't being safe."

"Well, maybe they're not being safe but at least they're getting somewhere," she huffs.

I hear her punching in the number to her voice mail again, and sigh. "You checked it five times already, I've listened to it twice, it's not changing."

"'Grandpa's in the hospital, please come.' No details, no info. Who taught her to leave a message like that?" she gripes.

"I'm sure she was in a hurry," I say. And she probably hung up before she could burst into tears.

"A person needs details. _Why_ is he in the hospital? How _bad_ is it? What are the _circumstances_ involving him being in the hospital? These are simple questions!" she rails.

"We'll be there very soon and you'll know everything," I say, trying to reassure her.

"What if he's dead?"

"He's not dead," I say firmly.

"How do you know?"

"I know." I know because when your dad is dead, the phone call is _very_ different.

"Oh, you're the psychic now?" she says snippily. "You're suddenly getting visions while you're driving 20 miles per hour in the oldest truck known to man?" She pauses, and collects herself. "I'm sorry, you're killing yourself to get me there and I'm yelling at you. I don't mean it."

"I know." I remember saying much worse when my dad was in the hospital.

She pauses for a moment, and when she speaks again, her voice sounds sad. "I feel like this is one of those moments when I should be remembering all the great times I had with my dad, you know? The time he took me shopping for a Barbie or to the circus or fishing, and my mind is a complete blank."

"Well, I'm sure it happened," I say gently.

"No, it didn't," she replies, shaking her head. "We never did any of that. He went to work, he came home, he read the paper, he went to bed, I snuck out the window. Simple." She sounds like a combination of angry and sad, and I don't think she wants my input so I stay quiet. "He was a very by-the-numbers guy. I was never very good with numbers."

I'm not sure what else to say to that. Lorelai and I had very different experiences with our fathers. "I'm sure he loves you."

She turns her head to look at me. "You know, my dad is not a bad guy."

I should be surprised by the way Lorelai's thought process skips around, but I've gotten used to it by now. "I'm sure he's not," is what I say.

"He lived his life the way he thought he was supposed to. He followed the rules taught to him by his non-fishing-non-Barbie-buying dad. He worked hard. He bought a nice house. He provided for my mom. All he asked in return was for his daughter to wear white dresses and go to cotillion and want the same life that he had." Her breath hitches almost imperceptibly, but I notice. I notice everything when it comes to Lorelai. "What a disappointment it must have been for him to get me."

I feel the pain behind her words. "I can't imagine anyone seeing you as a disappointment," I say, just thinking of all that Lorelai has accomplished as a young, single mom. Obviously, I'm biased, because of how I feel, but I think pretty much anyone in Stars Hollow would agree with me.

"I bet you'd buy a Barbie for your daughter," she says wistfully.

"Yeah, well, I'd probably give her the cash to buy it herself and meet her by the baseball cards," I joke, trying to bring a little levity to the situation.

"Hmm," Lorelai says softly. "You'll make a great dad."

Her words make my heart leap in my chest. I want to propose to her right that minute, offer to father any children she wants to have, make love to her every night until we are old with broken hips and dentures, but instead all I can say is, "You _make_ a great mom."

She sighs, and says, "Yeah, it's just the, uh, daughter part I don't have down yet."

She looks dejected and miserable, and once again, I want to see her spirits rise. "Okay, hold on," I say. "That Camaro is dust." It's a compulsion, but once again I'm rewarded by the barest glimmer of a smile.

* * *

 _It's nearer, children's eyes shine clearer now_

 _As they decorate the trees, all across the seven seas_

* * *

We get to the hospital and ask the person at the first desk we come across where Richard Gilmore should be. Since we don't know _why_ he is there, they find it difficult to help us. Eventually, they send us toward the ER/cardiac unit, with some vague directions about lines and desks and hallways.

"Okay, we're supposed to follow the blue line, around the corner, and then we should be—" I say, and we turn to see a dead end.

"Where's the scarecrow when you need him?" Lorelai says in exasperation, flinging her hands to her sides.

"Okay, we have to ask someone else," I say, but Lorelai cuts me off.

"No! No! We just have to pick one!" she shouts, gesturing madly down two separate hallways.

"Ah, well, can't just wander around here aimlessly," I tell her, trying to be the reasonable one.

"Luke, listen to me," she says, clearly losing her mind. "Somewhere in this hospital are my mother and my father. Now, I know I don't get along with them, but there has to be some sort of intuition, some sort of blood bond that will somehow lead me to them!"

" _That's_ crazy," I reply, thinking of all the times I got lost in this hospital trying to find my own dad, with whom I was, without a doubt, more closely connected to than Lorelai is to her parents.

Suddenly, from down one of the many halls, we hear a woman's voice that sounds like a carefully cultivated mix of furious and haughty, and I know it has to be Lorelai's mother. "My great uncle founded this hospital—" we hear, and Lorelai immediately snaps to attention.

"And that's Emily," she says, and we both take off in the direction of the voice.

"You insensitive paper peddler! His portrait is hanging in the lobby, go look. It's right above the sign that says _Founder_!" she screeches.

Lorelai and I rush around the corner to see Mrs. Gilmore berating a woman wearing hospital scrubs. "Mom!" Lorelai cries.

"Lorelai," Mrs. Gilmore says, eyes widened in shock.

"What's going on? How is he?" Lorelai cuts through the nurse's station like she owns it, and I follow behind her. One of the nurses gives me a dirty look, but I half shrug and keep going.

"You came," her mother says, as if Lorelai hadn't just asked her a question.

"Well, of course I came," she replies. "How's Dad?"

Mrs. Gilmore huffs. "That's what I've been trying to find out but this _woman_ keeps pestering me with idiotic questions like 'what's the number of my insurance policy and how long have we had it'."

The nurse addresses Lorelai. "I need to get this information."

"You need to get sensitivity training!" Mrs. Gilmore barks, with no sense of irony.

"Well," Lorelai says to the nurse, "what if I fill out this information and you can go find someone who can tell us how my dad is?"

"I'm not supposed to—" the nurse begins to protest.

"Or, I could go and you can stay here and continue to discuss this with my mother," Lorelai replies, clearly knowing which way this is going to go.

With only a tiny hesitation, the nurse replies, "I'll go."

"Thank you," Lorelai says, and the nurse disappears through the double doors. She turns to face her mother, and I realize briefly I've never seen two women more evenly matched.

"You got rid of her," Mrs. Gilmore replies in awe.

"Yes, so tell me what happened."

"That's amazing," she continues, once again not listening to her daughter. I'm starting to get an idea of how their entire relationship functions, and how Lorelai is not exaggerating when she vents over some pie and coffee after those Friday night dinners she now goes to.

"Mom, _please_ ," Lorelai presses, clearly frustrated.

"I don't know what happened," she finally responds, her attention now fully on Lorelai. "He was hot and he went to turn down the thermostat and then—" Mrs. Gilmore notices me finally, and I offer a tentative smile. "Were you on a date?" she asks suddenly.

"What?" Lorelai says, as surprised as I am by the sudden inquisition.

"You have an escort," Mrs. Gilmore says.

"No, it's _Luke_ , Mom," Lorelai says.

I hope I don't visibly flinch. "Which is her way of saying we weren't on a date," I say.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that," Lorelai says to me, which barely cushions the blow.

"Well, how am I supposed to know you weren't on a date? It's Friday night, and you show up here with a _man_!" The way she says it, it sounds like even if we had been on a date, then it would automatically be sordid.

"With _Luke_ , Mom," Lorelai says again, the emphasis sounding like it would be nonsense for anyone to consider us romantically involved.

"It's not insane to assume a date was involved," Mrs. Gilmore says, not letting up.

"You're right, okay, it's entirely possible that I was out on a date," Lorelai replies, annoyed.

"Just not with me," I cut in.

"I was eating at Luke's when I got the message," Lorelai barrels on. "He gave me a ride, end of story. Is Dr. Reynolds here?" I'm half amused by her attempt to deflect her mother's attention off of us and our non-date.

"Yes, Joshua got here a while ago. He was supposed to come back the minute he knew something but he hasn't been back yet," Mrs. Gilmore says in frustration.

"Well, let's go find him."

"You can't find him! You can't find anyone! Everyone just keeps disappearing behind those doors!" Mrs. Gilmore cries dramatically.

"Well, come on, let's go," Lorelai says, and turns to charge through the double doors, once again like she owns the hospital.

"I didn't know you could do that," Mrs. Gilmore replies in wonder as she follows Lorelai.

"I'll wait here," I say out loud, pretty much to myself. I sit down in the stiff chairs that face the nurse's station, ready to wait for whatever I'm needed for. I've barely sat down when Rory walks up to me, her arms full of newspapers.

"Luke!" she says, surprised, as she comes up the hallway.

"I gave your mom a ride," I tell her, wanting to head off whatever she might overhear Mrs. Gilmore say later. "We weren't on a date."

"Oh, okay," Rory says, without further questioning.

"She and your grandmother just went back to see if they can find a doctor."

"Did they find out anything else about Grandpa?" she asks, sitting down in the chair beside me.

"I don't think so, but give your mom a couple of minutes back there, I bet she finds something out." I don't want to say it out loud, but I know that once Lorelai gets her mind set on something she either annoys or flirts her way into getting what she wants. I should know, I'm her primary target.

"Thanks for bringing her," she says quietly.

"You're welcome." I tap my knuckles against her knee. "Hey, you okay?"

"I don't want him to die," she admits, and her voice reverts to that little girl voice I remember so well. It hasn't been that long since she was inviting me to caterpillar funerals and twirling around with fairy wings on her back.

"Well, you tell him that when you see him, okay? People like to hear that."

Right then, she looks past me and cries "Mom!" I turn back toward the double doors as Rory jumps to her feet, and runs to her mother, encircling her in a fierce hug.

"Hey, you!" Lorelai says, winding her own arms around Rory tightly. "Hi!"

Rory pulls away. "It was horrible!" she says, eyes wide. "It happened so fast!"

Lorelai still has a hand on Rory, and I'm just watching as Rory seems to visibly relax in her mother's presence. "They're about to bring him out of the big test room any minute so just hang in there."

"Where's Grandma?"

"Kicking some patient out of the room with the good view."

"Really?"

"I hope they get him unhooked fast, otherwise he's going without the life support machine," Lorelai says with a forced chuckle.

"So how long before they bring him back?" Rory asks, barely even blinking at the behavior of her grandmother.

"Very soon," Lorelai says reassuringly.

"I'd like to do something," Rory says, looking thoughtful.

Lorelai looks perplexed. "Like, uh, rollerblade?"

"Like get some coffee or make phone calls or do something that isn't standing here waiting," Rory replies, gesturing with nervous energy.

"Okay, go for it. Well, as partial as I am to the phone, I'm voting for the 'get coffee' idea."

Rory seems cheered at the idea that her grandfather seems to be fine and that she has a task at hand. "Okay, good." She turns to me. "Luke? Tea?"

"Ah, peppermint preferably," I reply, touched that she remembered.

"I'll be right back," she says.

"Hey," Lorelai calls Rory back just before she walks away. She steps closer, and I can just barely hear her whisper, "He's gonna be fine."

Rory looks sad. "I was just getting to know him."

"I know."

"I don't want him to—"

Lorelai shakes her head. "He's not. Go, get your coffee." We watch Rory disappear around the corner and she flops onto the chair beside me that Rory had been in minutes before. "Oh man," she sighs heavily.

"You're very brave for her," I say, trying to sound encouraging.

"Yeah, well, it's my turn. God, this sucks."

"Hey, come on," I say. "You gotta think positive here. Bright side, good thoughts. Rainbows, unicorns, little cute… furry… okay, I'm out," I finish lamely.

"Thank god," she murmurs. Before I can say anything else, Mrs. Gilmore rushes back through the doors, and stops in front of us.

"Alright, we've secured him the room, but the pillows are completely unacceptable. I'm gonna see if I can find him some down ones and some slippers. I'll be right back."

"We'll be right here," Lorelai offers, although Mrs. Gilmore isn't even listening to us as she whooshes past. Or at least, I don't think she is, because at that moment, a patient on a gurney is wheeled past, and I get hit with that sick person hospital smell, and have to take a deep breath to ward off the flashbacks. "Geez, are you okay?" Lorelai asks, as I cover my face with the back of my hand.

"Yeah," I say, trying to swallow the bile threatening to rise. "I'm just not real big on hospitals. You know, the smell, people being wheeled by with tubes sticking out of them, you know, drainage, fluids, gaping holes—"

"Okay, listen," Lorelai says softly. "Why don't you go home?"

I look at her. "You want me to go?" The idea of leaving her here hadn't even occurred to me.

"You don't look so good," Lorelai says.

I scoff. "Thanks."

"That's not what I meant," she backpedals. "You know you always look good."

"Yeah?" I ask, a slight smile curling my lips. _Good, huh?_

"I mean you always look healthy," she says, looking slightly embarrassed.

"Okay."

"But you don't look so healthy now. Now you look—"

"Unhealthy," I supply.

"Yes."

"Okay," I repeat, unable to stop from smiling a little at her discomfort.

"Oh, so what?" she grumbles. "So I said you look good. We're not in 5th grade. 'You look good', big deal." She huffs. "Stop staring at me."

The smell hits me before I see the next patient being wheeled by, and I can't stop myself from muttering "Oh, geez."

"See?" Lorelai retorts. "That's what you get for being cocky."

The next gurney that wheels past has Mr. Gilmore on it, looking pale and lethargic. Lorelai jumps to her feet and I follow her immediately. "Uh, how is he?" she asks, worriedly. The two of us walk behind the gurney, following them down the hall into an area with patient rooms.

"He's a little groggy right now," the orderly replies.

"What's going on? How are the tests?" she continues, practically jogging alongside.

"The doctor will have to tell you that, I'm just the transport guy."

"When is the doctor coming out?"

"I'm not sure but you can go in with your dad until he gets here." The orderly wheels Mr. Gilmore into a room.

"Thanks," she says, but doesn't follow.

"Go ahead, I'm good," I say, but she still doesn't move.

"That's okay, uh, I'm gonna go find my mom and Rory and tell them he's back up."

"I can tell them when they get here," I point out. Behind Lorelai, I see Mrs. Gilmore opening the stairwell door.

"That's okay, uh, I think they'd like to know now." She turns and nearly slams into her mother. "Ah!" she cries in surprise.

"Lorelai, you almost ran me over," her mother reprimands.

"Well, good thing we're in a hospital," she quips.

"Where were you going?"

"To find you, they just brought Dad up."

"When?" Mrs. Gilmore demands.

"Just now."

"Well, how is he? Did you talk to him?"

"No, not yet. I was coming to find you."

"Well, come on," Mrs. Gilmore says.

"You go ahead, Mom, I'm gonna go find Rory."

"Fine," Mrs. Gilmore replies tersely, disappearing into the room.

"Okay," Lorelai sighs, and she stands in the hallway nervously.

"You know, I could look for Rory," I offer, starting to see what's going on here.

"No, that's okay. I'll do it," she insists.

"I thought so." I turn around to see Rory walking up behind us. "Hey, look. It's Rory."

"The coffee machine was jammed, so I got us some chicken soup and some Pez," Rory says, holding up her bounty, the newspapers still jammed underneath her arm.

"I was just coming to look for you," Lorelai says, and I resist the urge to roll my eyes.

"Why, is everything okay?" Rory asks, eyes wide.

"They just brought Grandpa back up. He's in room 202."

"Well, come on," Rory says cheerily, urging her mother to follow her.

"You… go ahead. I just — I have to make a call." I narrow my eyes at Lorelai. I know she's lying.

But Rory doesn't notice. "Well, hurry up," she says, and disappears through the same door Emily did.

"I'll meet you there," Lorelai calls after her. She shifts her weight from foot to foot and I step a little closer.

"So who are you gonna go find now?" I ask her.

"Stop," Lorelai snaps.

"How about Jimmy Hoffa?" I say. "That'll keep you busy for awhile."

"I said stop," she says again, looking pained.

I jerk my thumb in the direction that both Mrs. Gilmore and Rory went. "You can't avoid going into that room forever."

"I'm not avoiding anything. I'm going to find coffee." She starts walking backwards away from me.

"The machine's jammed," I remind her.

"Well, there are other machines."

"Admit you're afraid," I say.

"You have no idea what you're talking about," she insists.

"The truth hurts."

"No, you know what hurts? Having a screwdriver jammed in the side of your head."

"What?" I ask. She points behind me, and like an idiot, I turn, to see exactly what she just described. My stomach turns. "Oh my god!" I groan, turning on my heel, trying to burn the image out of my head.

Lorelai disappears down the hall and I wander to over to sit in the chairs outside Mr. Gilmore's room. I'm not sure what I'm waiting for. Lorelai told me I could go, but I still feel like I should stay. I don't know why. I hate hospitals. I hate what they represent, about how the last thing my Dad saw was the four walls of his room. I'm not sure how long I'm sitting there, hunched over with my head down, when Rory comes back out of her grandfather's room.

I don't even realize she's there until she speaks. "Where's Mom?"

"Looking for coffee," I reply.

"What are you doing?"

"Staring at my shoes."

"Okay," Rory says, and I can hear a hint of laughter in her voice, although she's too nice to show it. "Carry on." She stands there for a minute, then she walks off in the same direction that her mother went. I look up, but at that moment another patient is wheeled by and I have to look down again, willing the nausea to pass.

The last time I was in this hospital was the day that my Dad passed. We had just celebrated Thanksgiving the week before, and the next morning he stumbled into the kitchen and told me it was time. I blanketed myself in denial. I told myself that he would make it past Christmas. Instead, a week later on November 30, 1989, I sat in a chair beside the bed and watched helplessly as he struggled for air.

Liz didn't make it in time.

* * *

 _It's nearer, yule log fires burn clearer now_

* * *

I start staring at the ceiling in order to change things up a bit, but when I hear the door to Mr. Gilmore's room open, I straighten up.

"Oh, hello," Mrs. Gilmore says, as she steps out of the room.

"Hi," I say, silently berating myself for not being more of a people person.

She gestures toward the empty chair beside me. "If you don't mind, I think I need to just—"

"Oh, sure. Sit, please. How is he?" I feel like I've already redeemed myself from my social inadequacies.

"Oh, you know… he's— I don't know." She's holding a tie in her hand, and running it between her fingers repeatedly, like it's a child's favorite toy or a talisman, something that she can draw strength from.

"It's a nice tie," I say, trying not to be awkward.

"It's Brooks Brothers," she says.

I nod, pretending I know what that is. "Ah."

"It was bothering him tonight. I told him not to loosen it. I wanted him to look nice for our guests, so he didn't. And then, well… The paramedics took it off him on the way here. I just haven't been able to put it down yet." She sniffles and looks away. "I must sound crazy."

"I've kept my father's entire store just the way he left it," I say, trying to reassure her, although I don't know how my complete lack of forward momentum would ever console anyone.

"Really?" Mrs. Gilmore asks, and to my surprise, she sounds interested.

"Well, I turned it into a diner, but I kept all his stuff on the walls, his pictures in the office, even the 'Hardware' sign."

"I'm sure he would've appreciated having his life's work being honored like that," she says, smiling slightly.

"He would've called me a damn fool," I retort. I know he would have, because he told me to sell the building and I refused, and those were his exact words. _You're a damn fool, Lucas_ , he said. This, coming from the man who wasted no time in getting rid of every possession that reminded him of my mother, but never really moving on.

"Oh. Well," Mrs. Gilmore replies, slightly taken aback. She swallows, and takes a moment before speaking. "I don't know what Lorelai's told you about her father. I can certainly imagine, but he's a very good man." She sounds choked up, and I'm surprised to see this kind of vulnerability from her, after all Lorelai has told me, after what I've witnessed tonight with my own eyes. "He always did the right thing for his family," she says thickly.

"That's what she told me," I reply honestly.

She nods silently, and then takes a deep breath. "So what exactly is going on between the two of you?" she asks, and I shouldn't be surprised we are back to this, but I am.

"Nothing," I say, and she gives me that look, like she knows I'm bullshitting her. "Really," I say, holding my hands out in front of me, "We're friends, that's it."

"You're idiots, the both of you," she sighs, and I have no idea what she means by that. But I can't dwell on it, because Lorelai and Rory both walk up to us at that moment. "There you are, where have you been?" Mrs. Gilmore demands.

"Coffee hunt," Lorelai replies glibly. I see no coffee cup in her hands, but I say nothing. "So what's going on?"

"Your mother called me an idiot," I offer.

"Wow, you must have sucked up good," she says.

"Well, I'm going to go wash my face," Mrs. Gilmore says, and she puts a hand on Rory's shoulder, a silent command for her to follow. For a moment, I wonder if that is code for something, but I decide not to worry about it, because Lorelai is standing in front of her father's room, hesitating.

"So whatcha gonna do?" I ask gently. She stands there, looking at me, like she really can't figure it out. I nod toward Mr. Gilmore's room, a silent encouragement.

"Okay, well, I'm just gonna…" she says slowly, pointing toward the door, dragging her feet.

"I'll be here," I say, trying to give her an extra push to go in. She takes in a deep breath before she turns the knob to open the door and disappears inside. I know that seeing her father is going to be emotional for her, and I want to give her a few minutes of space. I head down the hall looking for some coffee. The machine may be busted, but I peek inside a couple of open doors. Finally, I see a half-full pot of coffee, so I duck in and pour her a mug from the carafe. There isn't anything to put in it, so I have to give it to her black, but I know she'll drink it anyway.

"Emily, I promise, it'll be routine testing and observation, but I'm very optimistic we're just crossing T's and dotting I's at this point," I hear a man's voice say as I start back toward Mr. Gilmore's room. I follow the sound of the voices back to where I started, and get back to where the chairs are just in time to see Lorelai step out of the room, looking like she's about to crack apart into pieces.

"I heard, everything's okay," I say, walking over to her.

"Yeah, yeah," she says. "They're going to keep him overnight, but — but's he's going to be fine." Her face crumples and she starts to cry, which makes me uncomfortable, but somehow she falls into my arms and that feels _right_.

"Hey," I say, trying to soothe her, rubbing my free hand over her back as she sobs on my shoulder. "Okay, see, here's where the guy is supposed to give the girl his handkerchief but I don't have one. And plus, I find the practice a little revolting, so…"

"No, I'm okay," she says, pulling away, sniffling and wiping the tears from her eyes.

"You sure?" I ask, wanting to make sure. Almost wishing she were still pressed to me.

"Yeah," she nods.

"Alright." I remember the coffee in my hand. "Oh hey, I got this for you."

"Ah, where'd you get that?" she asks, still sniffing and trying to pull herself together.

"Nurse's lounge," I say.

"Uh-huh," she replies, a touch of disbelief in her tone.

"What? You're not the only one who can flirt," I say conspiratorially, and she laughs. "The door was open," I admit.

"Thank you," she says, taking a gulp from the cup, and although I can still see unshed tears in her eyes, she does look a little better.

"Anything else I can do?" _Hold you some more?_

She looks up at me gratefully. "Could you take Rory home?" she asks.

"Yeah, sure," I say, nodding. "What about you?"

"I'm gonna stick around here for awhile and make sure everything's settled, you know. You take her and I'll drive the Jeep back."

"Okay," I agree, and although I hate the idea of leaving her here, I have to agree that Rory needs to get home and get some rest.

At that moment, Rory comes back out of Mr. Gilmore's room. "He's gonna be fine," she says, and the relief in her voice is palpable.

"Yeah, yeah. I think it was those financial papers that really did the trick." They titter over some private joke, and then she turns to include me in their conversation. "So, um, Luke's gonna take you home, okay? I'm gonna hang out here for awhile."

"I'll stay, too," she says immediately.

"No, go. Call Dean. Talk mushy to each other and then spend an hour arguing over who's going to hang up first."

"You are gross," says Rory, and I have to agree, although I admire the ease with which Lorelai can tease her daughter about this kind of thing.

"I'll call you later," Lorelai says to Rory.

"Okay, well, tell him goodbye for me. And tell Grandpa I'll come back tomorrow." Rory hands her mother the keys to the Jeep, and gives her a kiss on the cheek.

"Okay, I will. Bye."

"Bye."

I give Lorelai a little wave as Rory and I start walking back towards the entrance in the labyrinth of hallways. "Okay," I say, "walk fast and look straight ahead."

Rory is too polite to make comments about how slowly I drive us back home. The silence feels like it's pressing in on us a little, because while Rory is not as vivacious as her mother, she is still exceptionally chatty. "How are you doing?" I ask, chancing a glance over at her. She's staring out the window, looking pensive.

"I'm okay," she replies eventually. She shifts a little against the vinyl seats. "Thanks for bringing Mom," she says quietly.

"Of course," I reply. "You already thanked for me that," I add.

"It just means a lot," she says. When I glance her way again, she's looking at me with a slight smile. I smile back, and we're quiet for the duration of the drive.

* * *

 _In the winter's frosty air, sing with us and we can share our_

 _Thanks for Christmas_

* * *

I close a little earlier than normal the next night. More than half of the town is busy with the rehearsal for the Christmas pageant, and there's a game on tonight, so I've already closed down the grill and I'm wiping up the tables. I haven't locked the door because sometimes Lorelai will come in late, just as I'm closing, demanding the dregs from the pot of coffee. She doesn't know that I make a pot fresh near the end of the day, hoping she'll stop by. She likes it strong, so I brew it to her taste, which is convenient because it still tastes like it's been out for hours. If she's ever noticed, she's never let on.

My wish is granted when I hear the bell ringing above the door, and I look up from wiping off a table. "Hello!" she says cheerily. She's holding a gift bag in her hand.

"Hey," I greet her. "How's your dad?"

"Better. Though he says that life is not life unless it includes a steak." I chuckle. "How come you're not out with everybody?"

"I had some things to do," I say, which isn't a complete lie, because I do need to finish closing up before I can go relax in front of the game with a beer.

"Right. Anyway, um, this is for you." She hands me the bag. It has a snowman on it, although it's not as cutesy as I would expect from her so I assume it was recycled from last year. The woman doesn't throw away anything.

I peek inside. "What's it for?"

She shrugs. "Just thank you, Christmas, whatever."

"Christmas isn't for two weeks," I say, tossing the rag onto a table.

"Do we really have to do this again?" she gripes, and I place the bag on the table, pulling out the tissue paper. I lift out a blue baseball cap. I pull off the hat I'm already wearing and bend the bill slightly on the new one. "I just thought, you know, god forbid something happens to that one, you might need a spare. Here." She holds out her hands for it, and I hand it to her. She puts it on me, with the bill facing the front, and grimaces. "Does _that_ look wrong," she says, and I laugh slightly at her expression. She turns the hat around to the way I typically wear it. "There!" she says happily, and I grin back at her. Before I can thank her, her attention is pulled toward the goings-on outside. "Oh, hey, turn out the lights," she says, going over to the window.

"For what? It's not the real procession, it's just the rehearsal," I point out, although I'm halfway across the room to the light switch anyway.

"So?" She pulls up the blinds to get a better view. "It's pretty."

"And why do they need to rehearse it?" I ask. "It's the same thing every year."

"Come on, Luke. Please?" I flick off the lights and walk over to stand beside her at the window. "It's hard to imagine living somewhere else, isn't it?" she says, almost dreamily. I find it slightly odd for her to be saying that, since she did live somewhere else, for nearly two decades of her life, while I've lived in this town since I was only a whispered conversation between my parents.

"Thanks for the hat," I tell her.

"You're welcome. Look's good on you."

I smile, as the compliment once again slips past her internal censor. "Good, how?" I murmur, turning to look at her.

"Just watch the procession," she replies dryly, rolling her eyes. There are a few beats of silence between us as we watch the rehearsal, and I am about to offer her a cup of coffee when she turns to face me suddenly. "I'm sorry if I offended you," she blurts.

"What?" I ask, and reach up to touch the hat on my head. "The hat is great, I like it," I assure her, but she shakes her head quickly, her hair swishing back and forth.

"No, no, about the _date_ ," she says, and she looks up at me, her forehead creased with a concerned frown. "About you and me, being on a date or not being on one. To my mother, when she asked if we were on a date and I said we weren't, but I didn't mean to imply that I wouldn't ever date you. Because I don't think you are undateable or anything! I'm sure you're very dateable. You _look_ dateable." She pauses to take in a breath, her eyes still on mine.

"Uh," I reply, and inwardly kick myself at my lack of eloquence.

"Just please, don't be offended, okay?" She smiles, but it doesn't reach her eyes.

"Not offended," I manage to reply.

Her shoulder falls slightly, and her smile turns into one of relief. She nods, looking down at the floor. "Well, I'm going to go," she says, and adjusts her jacket slightly. As she takes a step toward the door, I grab her hand. She stumbles slightly, and I catch her other elbow to steady her.

"I look dateable?" I ask gruffly, and her head snaps up, startled.

"Y-yes," she whispers, her lips parted. I feel my dick twitch slightly at the way she is looking at me, and I know I have crossed the line. I can't go back now, consequences be damned. Maybe it will be a Christmas miracle, two weeks early.

"Good enough for you?" I ask, my hand traveling past her elbow to her arm, resting just below her shoulder.

"Yes," she breathes, and I bend my head down to press my lips to hers.

* * *

 _Thank you for the love and happiness that's snowing down, all around_

* * *

The moment our lips touch, it is explosive, and yet warm and safe. I wrap my arms around her tightly, tilting my head to deepen the kiss, and she responds instinctively, opening her mouth to me and letting our tongues crash together. I can feel her hands on my back, with one reaching up into my hair, knocking the cap right off. We stumble around, one of the tables skidding against the linoleum, and a chair or two falling with a crash. I want to devour her, and I am already pushing against her jacket, trying to get as little between us as possible. I am about to have her right there in the diner, except at that moment there is a large thud against the diner windows, and we both jerk apart. I turn to see what caused the noise, only to see Kirk pressed up against the glass, both palms flat against the window.

"Get out of here!" I yell, waving my arms, and, disappointed, he slinks off, turning back once to make sure that Lorelai and I haven't gotten back to business before he disappears into the crowd across the street.

"I should go," Lorelai says quietly, but we stand there, staring at each other, neither of us making a move.

"Okay," I reply, just as quietly.

"Rory," she explains with a shrug, still not moving.

"Okay," I repeat. The seconds tick by, both of us frozen. "Can I take you to dinner tomorrow?" I blurt out, trying to put an end to our standstill.

A huge smile spreads across her face. "Okay," she says, and I smile back. Still standing in the darkened diner, a few feet apart, grinning like idiots. But then her grin disappears, and it's like she's remembered something. "Shit," she murmurs, and I get a flash of fear. "I— I'm seeing someone," she admits, and I remember Mr. Stick-up-his-ass.

"Oh," is all I can say. I can taste the disappointment in my mouth.

"Listen," she says, and although I want to tell her to _just_ _go_ , I don't. "I'm going to go home, but we'll talk tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay," I say.

"Just… Tomorrow," she says, and after a flash of a smile, she's gone. I don't watch her walk away. Instead, I flip the lock, and pour the coffee down the drain. I'll wash the pot out tomorrow. Right now, I just want to go upstairs.

* * *

 _Thank you for the winter friendliness that's snowing down, all around the world_

* * *

I have to admit that I'm surprised to see Lorelai fairly early the next morning. I expected her to avoid the diner for a few days until the night before had a chance to recede into a fuzzy memory, and that we would go on as before, pretending the kiss had never happened. But no; instead, she comes in and sits down at the counter right in front of me. When I push the mug in front of her and fill it with coffee, she wraps her hands around it and looks up at me. "If you still want to have dinner tonight, I'm free," she says quietly, and I'm stopped in my tracks.

"What?" I ask, thinking I must have misheard. Or at least, misunderstood.

"I'm free," she says again, and looks at me directly in the eyes. "Free as a bird. Free and clear. Ain't got no strings, and the rest of it."

I face her fully, and bend forward so I can lower my voice. "Do you mean…?"

"Yes," she says, unequivocally.

"But, are you sure?" I ask, completely taken off guard. "Are you sure this isn't… too fast for you?"

"Luke," she says softly, and I can see warmth in her eyes. She smiles. "It wasn't even a debate," she says, and I can't help but return her smile.

I clear my throat. I need to make sure she's not just saying it, that it's really true. She left here pretty late last night, and it's barely 8 in the morning. "So, what, did you leave a message on his machine or something?"

She scoffs. "Please, Luke, what kind of person do you think I am?" Then she rolled her eyes, and looked away. "He was unexpectedly awake later than usual last night grading papers," she admits. I snort, and she giggles a little.

"Okay, so, tonight," I say, just making sure one final time.

"Tonight," she agrees. "Eight? I have some work to do at the Inn today that will keep me a little later than usual."

"Eight sounds good," I say. She leans over her cup toward me, and I lean in a little more.

"I told Rory we might be having dinner tonight," she says, and jerks her chin like I should get what she's implying. That she told Rory that we were going on a _date_.

"Ah," I say, and more than anything, this tells me that Lorelai is sure about us after all. "What did she… say?"

Lorelai shrugs. "She wasn't surprised."

"She wasn't…" I say, trailing off. Then I decide to let it go. Babette or Patty have probably been birdies in her ear for years. They've certainly been a pain in my ass about it.

Once Lorelai finishes her coffee, she smiles and waves, and with a casual "see you later!" she's out the door. Everything already feels different.

Not long after Lorelai's departure, I need to rush upstairs to get something out of the safe, so I'm surprised that in the few minutes that I'm up there, there's a knock at the door. "Come in," I call back, twisting the lock closed again and getting to my feet.

Rory is standing there, looking pensive and worried. "Hey," she says nervously, shifting her weight from foot to foot, an exact replica of how her mother looked when she was waffling over going into Mr. Gilmore's hospital room just days before.

"Rory," I say. "Was I expecting you? Is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine," she says. "Can we… talk?"

"Sure," I say, frowning slightly. Despite how much our lives have intertwined since her mother started frequenting the diner, we've never just _talked_. "Sit down," I say, gesturing to the kitchen table. I toss the empty zippered bag I use to transport cash on the table and pull out a chair. She sits gingerly, her hands clasped together and her head bowed. "What's going on?" I say, finally.

"Mom told me that you guys are going on a date tonight," she says, and I close my eyes. _Oh no._

"Are you… upset about that?" I ask, my tongue feeling too thick for my throat. This is awkward and uncomfortable and I really don't want to be talking to Rory about this, but I can't send her away or tell her to talk to her mom. She came to me for a reason, so I wait for her to respond.

There are a few long moments of silence. I open my eyes, making sure she hasn't left, and finally she kind of shakes her head. "No, I just… wanted to make sure."

"Make sure?" I echo.

"Yeah, it's just that…" She pauses, then lets out a big sigh. She looks up, and I see her blue eyes are wide with worry. "Grandpa was just in the hospital, and you know that my Dad hasn't really… been around," she begins, and I just listen, waiting for her to get to the point. "I just… don't know if I could handle losing you, too," she says.

"Why would you lose me?" I ask softly, touched that she considers me as important as her dad or her grandfather.

She shrugs. "I mean, it's bad enough that Mom dated my teacher and now they're broken up. What if you guys…?" She stops talking, and her head falls forward again, her eyes returning to her clasped hands.

"Rory," I say, waiting for her to look up again. When she finally does, I continue. "Even if your mom and I don't work out, I will _always_ be here for you. And her. Okay?"

"Are you sure?" Her words begin to tumble out in a rush. "Because I've heard that it's hard if you're dating someone and things go badly, and then you don't want to have to see that person anymore—"

"Rory," I say again, and I can't help but smile a little, because she is so sweet and young, and I wish I could be that young again. "Your mom and I are friends first. No matter what. Okay? I _promise_."

"Okay," she says, and she chances a slight smile.

* * *

 _It's dawning, Santa's reindeer yawning now_

 _All their festive work is done, filling houses up with fun_

* * *

I send her home with cookies and a to-go cup of coffee, feeling a warm fuzzy feeling in my chest that I haven't felt in a long time, maybe ever before in my life. It's almost like I'm Ebenezer Scrooge, finally seeing the joy of Christmas after being blind to it for a long time, although the feeling makes me uneasy at first and I make sure to snipe at Taylor at least once to balance the scales.

The rest of the day passes in a kind of blur. Customers have to struggle to get my attention, and after I break a third plate, I call in Caesar early to finish out the day. Then I'm upstairs, trying to figure out what the _hell_ to wear, where the _hell_ am I going to take her, and how the _hell_ this even happened.

I'm pawing through the back of my closet when I come across an old leather jacket that belonged to my Dad. I swallow hard, remembering that he bought it the last Christmas we were together. It was unseasonably cold that year, so he bought this jacket, the fleece lining meant to keep him warm. We didn't know it then, but he'd be gone in less than a year, the cancer already eating away at him, making his strong body more susceptible to the New England winter.

I sit down hard on the edge of my bed, holding the jacket and inhaling the familiar scent. Spending the evening with Lorelai and Rory in the hospital the other evening has been weighing on me, all the memories of Dad that I try not to think about flooding in. I sometimes wonder what he would have thought about Lorelai, about how I take care of them. He always thought family was important.

I slip the jacket on over my sweater. When I pull the truck up outside of Lorelai's house, she's already waiting on the steps, holding a mug of coffee, bundled in a black coat with a bright blue scarf that matches her eyes. When she slides into the cab beside me, her fingers immediately begin to caress the cool leather.

"Classy," she says. "I like the look." I simply smile at her, and we're off, leaving tire tracks through the snow in our wake.

* * *

 _It's dawning, here is Christmas morning now_

 _Greatest day of all the year, listen out and you will hear our_

 _Thanks for Christmas_

* * *

"You're just in time!" Lorelai squeals happily, yanking on my arm and pulling me into the house. I nearly drop all the bags in my hands, but, like magic, Rory appears at my side and takes most of them, disappearing into the kitchen. Lorelai cranes her neck in the direction Rory went, then moves to her tiptoes to give me a kiss. "Hey," she says, in that playful sexy voice I've gotten to know and love in the two weeks that we've been together.

"Hey," I reply. She steps back, and then we go into the kitchen, where Rory has already unpacked most of what I brought.

"You know, when Mom suggested burgers and fries as a new Christmas Eve tradition, I was skeptical, but I peeked inside one of the boxes and you did not disappoint, Sir Luke!" Rory says, an onion ring already in her hand.

Lorelai turns on her heel to look at me, her eyebrow raised, then she rushes over to lift the lid on one of the takeout containers. "Oh my god!" she says, and when she looks up, she has a huge smile on her face. I can't help but smile back, shoving my hands into my back pockets, waiting for her to open the other one. "Did you get one, too?" she asks Rory, opening boxes at random, finding the cheese fries and the onions rings.

"How do you know that's yours?" Rory retorts, and Lorelai shoots her a look.

"I'm the girlfriend, of course I get the Santa Burger," she says flippantly. She opens the box I've been waiting for her to open, and she throws her head back with laughter. "Ohhh, yes," she says, and tilts the box so that Rory can see. They both giggle. "See? Santa is mine. Mr. Elf is all yours, little girl."

"What's the green stuff?" Rory asks, crinkling her nose slightly.

"Uh, it's cream cheese," I say, before Lorelai can answer with something gross. "I just put a few drops of food coloring in it."

"Oh." Rory looks at it a moment, then swipes her finger through it, lifting the taste to her mouth. She smacks her lips a few times, then shrugs. "It's not bad," she says. She falls into a chair and places her Elf burger and one of the chili fries boxes in front of her. "Shouldn't you have Mrs. Claus?" Rory asks, stabbing her fries with a fork. "What's Luke going to eat?"

"Luke is going to eat a very festive turkey sandwich on whole wheat," I say, which happens to be in the bag that I am still holding. I set it down, and Lorelai pulls up her own chair.

"Okay," Lorelai says, squishing her Santa together to make a very unappetizing mess, "so after we eat, I thought we could catch the next showing of the A Christmas Story marathon, and we'll finish the night with It's a Wonderful Life as usual, but first, I found the most amazing thing to ever air on television during the holidays." Lorelai wipes her hands and reaches over to the counter to pulls out a VHS tape with ON THE 2ND DAY OF CHRISTMAS scrawled in red ink on the label. "This is a Lifetime movie about a pickpocket and a mall security guard who fall in love at Christmas."

"Perfect," Rory mumbles through a mouthful of food. Once she swallows, she adds, "Where did you find that?"

"I apparently just recorded a ton of TV movies a couple of years ago and I was sorting through them and came across this gem. The security guard is a real cutie, I think that actor is going to go places." I clear my throat, and Lorelai looks over adoringly. "Doesn't hold a candle to you, babe," she says generously.

"So do you do this every Christmas Eve?" I ask, arranging my sandwich in the box and grabbing some french fries from Lorelai's overstuffed plate. "Watch movies all night?"

"Pretty much," Rory says. She gets up to go to the fridge, and pours us all a glass of eggnog that I hope to god was purchased recently. I pick up my cup and take a hesitant sniff, and Lorelai shoots me a dirty look. "When we first started, I think we just watched the cartoon ones, but It's a Wonderful Life has been part of the line-up for as long as I can remember."

"It's a classic," Lorelai agrees. "That tradition predates Rory. My parents used to travel during the holidays and when I got old enough to be left behind with a maid or nanny, I used to plop down with leftovers in the den and watch TV all night."

"What kind of traditions do you have, Luke?" Rory asks. I'm surprised at the inclusion.

"I don't really have any," I say, shrugging.

"What about kid-Luke? Did he have any fun Christmas rituals?" Rory presses, and I am touched by her curiosity.

"Well," I say, trying to think. It's been a forever since I spent any time thinking about my childhood Christmases. "My dad wasn't the most, ah, demonstrative person ever. He was pretty quiet and stoic," I begin.

"I see the family resemblance," Lorelai interjects, grinning.

"But he loved Christmas," I continue, and I feel slightly wistful. "He would always get up before everyone else, banging around in the kitchen, singing Silver Bells in that deep baritone of his. There would be bacon sizzling on the stove and he'd fry up eggs to go with them. Liz and I would get up and see all the stuff under the tree, dumping out our stockings while my mom made hot cocoa on the stove. Then we'd go to church and walk back home through town, looking at the decorations in the square." I sigh, staring at the half eaten sandwich in my hands. "After my mom died, my dad attempted going through the motions, but it wasn't the same. Liz got annoyed with the early wake ups, and we didn't make the cocoa anymore."

When I look up, both Rory and Lorelai are staring at their own food, looking sad. "Hey," I say, and reach over to squeeze Lorelai's arm. They both look up, and I smile softly. "It was a long time ago. I'm ready to make some new traditions." Lorelai returns the smile, and does that little head ducking thing she does when she wants to shift from sentimental to silly.

"So, it's a love story between a security guard and a kleptomaniac?" Rory says, breaking the somber mood.

"No, a pickpocket," Lorelai clarifies, and the subject is officially changed.

* * *

 _It's such a shame it's only one day every year_

* * *

By the time we've made it through all three movies, it's pretty late. Rory stretches her arms behind her head and yawns loudly. "I'm going to bed," she says sleepily as the credits roll. She pushes herself upright, and almost staggers to her room. "Don't stay up too late, guys," she calls back to us, disappearing down the hall and into her bedroom.

"I guess I should go," I say quietly, but Lorelai snuggles closer.

"Actually," she says, nuzzling her head underneath my chin. "Rory and I talked it over, and we think you should spend the night."

"Spend the…" I say, pulling back to look into her eyes. She's sleepy, too, but I don't know if her heavy lids are from tiredness alone or if the Irish coffee I made her has anything to do with it.

Her fingers entangle with mine, and she looks up at me with earnestness. "We agreed. You are an official Gilmore. Plus, Rory has already put in her order for breakfast."

I shake my head slightly, unbelieving. "I don't know if I… I mean, this is _your_ thing, I don't want to…"

"Please?" she asks sweetly, squeezing my hands slightly.

"I didn't come prepared," I say, gesturing towards my clothes.

"Funny you should mention that," she says, then gets up. Crouching down to her hands and knees, she grabs a flat rectangular box and pulls it out from beneath the tree. It's not wrapped, just taped shut. "I bought you some pajamas," she says, smiling as she gets back to her feet. "And there's an extra toothbrush and duplicates of the toiletries you have in your bathroom at the apartment. A Luke sleepover kit, if you will." She shakes the box at me, but starts backing up toward the stairs. "Everything you need, if you come unwrap it."

"It's hardly wrapped," I point out, getting to my feet and following her. "You just taped the box closed."

"I didn't say this what was needed unwrapping," she says mischievously, then runs up the stairs. I'm hot on her heels, being mindful to keep my steps as light as possible so as not to disturb Rory. When we get to her room, she tosses the box on the bed and turns to face me.

"Are you sure?" I ask, already feeling my pulse throbbing all over my body. I step closer, and she begins unbuttoning her pajama top, and I see a peek of red lace inside.

"I'm sure," she says, and I lean forward to kiss her. She pulls me to her, grabbing my shirt in her fist. It's all still so new. She's been in my bed twice since that night we first kissed, and the shock of it all hasn't worn off yet. She gently spins us around and pushes me to sit on the bed, standing in between my knees. I go to rest my hands on her hips but she evades my grasp, stepping backwards.

"What are you…" I ask, and she closes her bedroom door and flicks the lock.

"Just in case," she shrugs. Then, she stands in the middle of the room, holding my gaze, while she slowly unbuttons the rest of her shirt. I swallow hard as she reveals the rest of her lingerie. It's all lace, and I can see her rosy pink nipple right through it, already erect and tempting. She pushes down the drawstring pants, and her sex is covered in matching lace, also transparent. Her pajamas are now in a pile on the floor, and she steps out of them, and comes closer. Her chest is hitching slightly, and she looks a little nervous. This is the first time I've watched her undress. Both times before, we were impatient, not even bothering with the lights as we stumbled towards my bed, getting each other naked as quickly as possible. "So," she asks quietly, and I can tell she's waiting for my approval, which both excites and mystifies me. She doesn't need my approval, even though she would have it, whether naked or fully-clothed.

"You're beautiful," I say, and my voice sounds full of wonder. She smiles softly, and looks down, but I reach over and slide my hands up the sides of her legs toward her delicious ass. My fingers slip underneath the lace of her panties, and I'm uncomfortably hard inside the tight material of my jeans. I pull her closer, and press my lips to her stomach, just above her navel, inhaling the sweet scent of her skin. Her fingers slip underneath my hat and she gingerly removes it, placing it on her night stand almost reverently. I look up at her, and there's something new between us. I don't know if it's because it is Christmas, or because earlier I shared memories about my family, but there's nothing about this that is merely carnal.

She pushes me down so that I'm laying back against the bed, and I watch silently as she unbuckles my belt, and removes my jeans. She pulls them down and over my feet, slipping my socks off at the same time. I start to unbutton my flannel shirt, and soon her fingers join mine, and we work together pushing the buttons through the worn holes, and I slip my arms out of the sleeves as she pushes up the cotton shirt I'm wearing underneath it. She takes a moment to just slide her warm hands around my skin, until her eye catches something on my shoulder. "You have a tattoo?" she asks, her voice husky, and I can tell she is just as aroused as I am.

"Yeah," I say, as she climbs up on top of me, her hands drifting to caress the ink-stained skin.

"Tell me later?" she asks, looking down at me with a curtain of curly hair framing her face.

"Anything," I say, which is the most truthful I've ever been in my life. She bends down, and kisses me again, and I reach up to hug her body to me, splaying my hand across her back. I feel the clasp of her bra with my fingertips, and toy with it a moment before undoing it. It falls between us and I toss it aside, needing to feel her skin. She grinds her body against mine and I feel like I'm floating, an otherworldly pleasure being here with her, the cool air of the night against our heated skin, and the friction of our movement both a delight and a torment.

My hand placed gently on the back of her neck, I carefully roll her over to her back, taking the time to places kisses alongside her cheek and neck, nuzzling her ear. She slides upward so her head is resting on the pillow, and I pull the blankets up to cover us. I lose track of time as we kiss languorously, hands wandering and bodies writhing. I am aware of her pushing down my boxers, and I tug at her panties, but from our position she needs to help push them down her legs to the foot of the bed. Then she's wrapped around me, her legs circling my hips and her warmth enveloping me, and it feels like we are just a throbbing mass of heartbeats and passion. I'm completely lost in her.

"Love," I murmur, and I barely know what I'm saying.

"Yes," she breathes, and it takes me a second to realize what just transpired between us. But before I can pause to take stock of the shift that just happened, her body squeezes me and she arches her back in a gasp, and I know she's just come, which takes over any reasoning processes I might have been having as I follow her over the edge. We're panting and sweaty, and she's clinging to me. I roll to the side, slipping out of her as we go, unconcerned about cleaning up right now.

"Lorelai?" I say in a whisper, not daring to open my eyes yet.

"Hmm?" she murmurs.

I hesitate. I want to be clear, but I don't know if this is too soon. I feel her hands caressing my face, and when I open my eyes she's gazing into mine, our noses practically touching. "Luke?" she asks, looking somewhat worried.

"Love," I finally say, unable to add in the other words.

She smiles. "Me, too," she says, and tucks her body against mine.

* * *

 _Three hundred and sixty-four days full of doubts and fear_

 _You've been saving your love up, let it out, ''cause Christmas is here_

* * *

When I wake up the next morning, it takes me a moment to realize that Lorelai is pressed up against me, and that we are still naked. She feels so warm and soft, for the first time in my memory I do not want to get out of bed. My bleary eyes can make out 7:50 on the alarm clock beside the bed, and I know that getting breakfast started now is probably the best course of action when dealing with two early morning Gilmores.

I slide out from under the covers, being careful not to wake her. She sighs slightly, and rolls onto her stomach, her hair covering her face. The box she teased me with the night before is lying on the floor beside the bed, and I open it carefully. I'm expecting some kind of crazy elf pajamas, something garish and loud and mockable, but I'm pleased to see she picked a dark blue thermal top with simple flannel drawstring pants. As she said, all the toiletries I use are nestled into the box, so after I put on the pajamas, I duck into the bathroom to brush my teeth. I'm about to slip out the door and go down the stairs, when I hear Lorelai tonelessly sing "Silver bells…", her voice muffled by the pillow.

I smile, and pad down the stairs, turning on the coffee maker and mixing the pancake batter. About 30 minutes later, Lorelai shuffles downstairs, clad in pajamas closer to what I expected to find for myself; little dancing Christmas trees and gingerbread girls, dotted with glittery snowflakes. Her hair is pulled back, and she looks at me with a sleepy grin.

"Barefoot and in the kitchen," she teases quietly, trying to keep her voice low in case Rory is still asleep. "Just need to get you pregnant," she says, and sidles up beside me, looping her arm around my waist.

"I think you have to be the one to cover that part," I say, and she chuckles against my shoulder.

"Maybe next Christmas," she replies, and immediately stiffens. "Um, I mean, that is—"

"Don't worry about it," I say, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head. "A conversation for another day."

"Okay," she says, snuggling in closer. It may not be bacon and eggs and hot cocoa, but the scent of pancakes and coffee fill the air and I couldn't be happier.

* * *

 _Thank you for the love and happiness that's snowing down, all around_

 _Thanks for Christmas_


End file.
